AH! whoa. man. THAT was freaky. the first one wasn't as freaky as this one. after the first chapter, i was gonna suggest that you give these people names, but i think they're better off without names. it makes it more applicable to your readers.

whoa. that wasn't so gory though. that was REALLY FREAKY. OMG

I like this one better than the first one!
If you make them better each time, you're gunna have a good story on your hands...
It'd make a good movie too.

Wow.
Karma came to bite her in the butt, eh?
These are interesting...they got my attention.

it's funny. oops i don't think that was supposed to be there for the world to read. oh well. still it's really good but i have to wonder why the rest won't be as gory. not that i'm looking for gore it's just that i think it'll fit. i like the writing style "i can definitely hear your voice in this piece" as feig would say.