I was going to review this a few days ago but I decided to be sick instead, which I'm sure you really wanted to know.

Depicting the kind of mindset the narrator has is something that takes a lot of skill, and you do it very, very well. One of the most interesting aspects was the fleeting self-loathing after they have sex, I was expecting it to be a more pronounced element, but instead it just slightly twists my perception of your characters, which is good.

"that made her taste like candy to the eyes and crystal giggles to the fingers" I'd say you just about get away with the former, but the latter part of the sentence ... I think it perhaps transgresses the thin line of tolerably bizarre imagery.

"Like limestone loves the fossilized limpet" Hmm ... so, buried beneath layers and layers of rock over millions of years. An unusual way to describe it, I suppose, but it does actually work in describing the possessive control the narrator's father has.

"lighting little bonfires of blood" In my opinion something vaguely like 'lighting bloody bonfires' would sound better, but it lacks some of the clarity of the way you phrased it, so it may not in fact be an improvement.

In a way I think the final word "die" would be more powerful if it wasn't in bold, because it would emphasise the plain inevitability of it. Either way is fine, though.

This reads like something slow and sugary and liquid. There must be a better way to describe it than that, but I can't think of one. I really do like this, if that wasn't already apparent. The world created and sustained by the two characters is so fragile, such a tragic abstraction, and you write it with enough endearing delicacy that by any standard it is actually enjoyable to read, and for this site that's about the highest praise I can give.

On a side note, I am delighted to have introduced you to the wonderful world of the review reply feature.

~Invisible Pink Unicorn

YOU POSTED IT HERE! *glomps you*

Now I remember the one nitpick I've ever had about this story - "sex" is used in two rather close similes; "red as sex" and "he smells sweet as sex". By themselves they're both quite powerful, but so close together it's a little...redundant? I'm not sure if that's the right way to express it.

Aside from that I can think of nothing else to niggle over. XD. This is just fantastic. I don't think I told you on dA just how WEIRD Lord Slaughter is. He just... I can't even form a clear picture of him in my mind. One minute I think of him as a person, next as a moth, and then in the next as a husky muscular giant with sad baby eyes. It's very befuddling, but in a good way - like trying to wrap my mind around something that's just too great for my simple scattered brain to comprehend. If that makes any sense. ^_^