I enjoyed this excerpt. Personally, I think you should make this a story. I loved reading this because you used Peter and Wendy and used a lot of their characteristics, but they were still your characters. I really liked the fact that you made Wendy still a child at heart because she was with Peter. I was worried this was going to be a fanfic, and I'm glad it isn't! Great job! I think I'll drop by your profile to see what else you've written!

Ok, just a bit of critisism. When using an elipsis, it's supposed to lead to something, I guess you can say. I don't think you needed it when you used it. Also, most of your sentences are simple sentences. Having short and sweet is great but I feel you need to combine a couple sentences. That's it! Great job again!