Reviews for A Child - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: A Child

simpleplan13 2008-03-09 ch 1,	abusereally great piece... I like how you follow their life, but I might separate it into stanzas.. a new one for each part of his life... I love the ending... its heartbreaking, yet very sweet... really nice piece PS If your bored check out the Review Game and its Review Marathon (links in my profile)
Silv3rDr34mS 2008-02-29 ch 1,	abuseI'm such a noob. I screwed up the rules of the RG game again. Anyway, since I did promise you a review on this piece, here goes. At first glance, I didn't like the structure of this poem. But now that I look at it again, I like it because its length reminds me of the long path to reach maturity and adulthood. I love the imagery here and I can see you recycled a line from one of your other poems. "Cast amongst the gutters" is nice imagery though. I can see why you recycled it. =) I also like how you go through the life stages of the original child and describe each one before moving onto the next. You also link the beginning and the end, talking about a child and suggest how this poem will continue on in a never ending cycle of the same event but you don't let that happen as one of these children you are describing break this cycle and becomes the friend. A common idea, but I love how you described it in a unique way. Very original! "Invisible", "forgotten" and the last line leaves a deep impression - something else I like. Finally, here's the (minor) bad stuff I'm going to throw in. 1) "Concrete and/Shoes," Why isn't this one line? I don't see you splitting up this line in order to rhyme it. 2) "One of torn/Clothing,/Worn shoes." And why isn't this two lines? Again, I don't see you breaking this to rhyme it. I think it will be better if you had 'One of torn clothing,/Worn shoes.' I love this poem! It hit me in all the right spots. ~silv3rdr34ms
Billie.Joelle 2008-02-28 ch 1,	abuseHullo again. I really liked this piece, I love the story you told in it, how it went from child all the way to adult. Very nice. If i had to say one thing, it would be that the length of the lines didn't stay constant, and it made it a little hard to read because i was seeing the line length change instead of the words. but overall, a very nice poem ~BJ
Kevdaddy 2007-10-18 ch 1, anon.	abuseyai. this is really good too, but i cant decide which i like better.
Kenna-Kat11 2007-08-19 ch 1,	abusea sad beginning...happy ending...awesome job
Neko's Snow 2007-07-27 ch 1,	abuseI liked it!
J.L. Hastings 2007-07-26 ch 1,	abuseGood poem!
Seize the Day 2007-07-26 ch 1,	abuseThis is amazing. It starts out so sad and (forgive me) soulful, and then turns into a somewhat hopeful, if not happy, ending.
xDancingintheRainx 2007-07-12 ch 1,	abuseBittersweet. I liked the ending; it pulled the whole piece together nicely and gave the reader some hope. Nicely done.
Moose21 2007-07-11 ch 1,	abuseman I felt as if is was there you described so well! i really liked the ending it was awsome This is going on my faves. HEY EVERYONE READ THIS POEM! IT IS REALLY GOOD!
Faerie Energy 2007-06-28 ch 1,	abuseAw.. I always hate seeing those people, and if they ask me for anything I find it impossible to deny them. It is very difficult to admit that many of us would rather we didn't see them at all, and I feel terrible saying it myself. All due respect, Faerie Energy
Exodus.Escence Of Sin 2007-06-28 ch 1,	abusewow, that was really good and sounded like it was from something in your life. well written . good job. ~evanescence123~
Koki Enwai 2007-06-28 ch 1,	abuseReally well written. The flow of events was great, and perfectly paced. Very touching poem. Nice job, man.
Guardrail 2007-06-28 ch 1,	abuseSuch a sad poem, but well written. I really like the way this flowed; it was very smooth. Very well done, great work and keep writing. And thanks so much for the reviews!
Giver of Roses 2007-06-27 ch 1,	abuseI loved it! It flowed. The person grew up in the poem didn't they? The ending was very sweet, I really liked this! You should post more poems! =) By the way. In the summary I think you have a typo: instead of 'penniless' you wrote 'peenyless'. Oops it just occurred to me that you explained in your summary that the child grew up in the poem. =( That's me being stupid. sorry. =) This earns a spot on my favorites list! =) I love you work! ~~Giver of Roses~~

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