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| effervescent-sentiments 2008-02-12 ch 11,  | abuseThat was amazing. Gorgeous. One of my favorite things I've ever read, seriously. Just one thing- I can't quite remember what chapter it was in- but you had a discrepancy with the labels "A" and "B" between Jonah and Johnny. I'd recommend changing that to avoid confusion. Stay consistent. You know the drill. Great job. I loved it. Julia. |
| effervescent-sentiments 2007-12-14 ch 1, | abuseThat was amazing. The only word for it. You know, other than beautiful. How about we call it Lulubelle? Off to read chapter two. ~Julia from Neopets. |
| DiaRose 2007-12-14 ch 1, | abuseOh, I really love this! It's so well written and very captivating, and it leaves the reader curious. All I would suggest is maybe using quotation marks, I got really confused without them in places. Love, ~Dia |
| yukki 2007-06-28 ch 11, | abuseWell, I didn't review other chapters, like I said I would, but I just sat and read this all in once piece and it's 8:00am, so I figure I'm not gonna make much sense anyway. I loved this story, however, and I will probably come back and read more of your writing sometime soon. I always liked characters with weird mental quirks... My favorite scenes : When Jonah had to count the cat, and when he held the kid down to count the skulls on his shoe. |
| Our Lady Bonbons 2007-06-28 ch 11, | abuseDude. I love it. It's brilliant. OLB |
| yukki 2007-06-28 ch 2, | abuseOh! One thing I want to comment on, it seems like it would make it a lot easier to read if when people talked, there were quotation marks. I realize this seems to be finished, but just thought I'd say. |
| yukki 2007-06-28 ch 1, | abuseThis is really good! It's well written and very original. I'll only review every few chapters from now on, probably, since I plan on reading most of this at once, but I love it. |