Reviews for The Dance of Life

Reviews For: The Dance of Life - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

the naked civil servant 2008-02-16 ch 1,	abusei am very into the idea of drinking breath. it seems so intimate and incensed. the whole concept of this is wonderful, but may I just explain to you how in love I am with the last line. I mean, really. read it back to yourself. It's just... somehow... PERFECT.
no.peace.los.angeles 2007-11-24 ch 1,	abuseThat is a really nice metaphor. I love the last line of this, how final it seems, but like the end of one thing and the beginning of another. If that makes sense. Interesting. Keep writing! :)
greenGalilee 2007-10-07 ch 1,	abuse"And courage rose like an angry ghost through the pulsing floorboards." Incredible diction!
riotmaker 2007-08-19 ch 1,	abuse"so close we could rink each other's breath". fxcking gorgeous. ♥
Luna Turner 2007-07-26 ch 1,	abuseO! I like! Good job! ~midnightjoy
cygnus olor 2007-07-22 ch 1,	abuseWhen I read the title, a different concept formed in my mind rather than the simple dance itself. I don't know if it fit the title. But that's just me. Anyhow, good imagery still. I love the line: "So close we could drink each other's breath" Nice job. Keep writing! * ner *
Moondog Dozier 2007-07-20 ch 1,	abuseMarvelously intense endline. I like how this is both sparse and specific at the same time, like it could be every dance anywhere, but zoning in on the individuals at this one. Very well developed. MD:77.
Toxic.Industrial.Waste 2007-07-02 ch 1,	abuseOh parties. How some of them can leave such a sweet-sour taste in your mouth. Wanting something so bad -but not sure if you do. Just floating to the music. You put a beautiful imagery in my head. Great work.
Koki Enwai 2007-06-30 ch 1,	abuseThis was fantastic. Imagery was solid, and you put in just enough. Great job.
Martin Willowridge 2007-06-30 ch 1,	abusethis makes me think of a girl i once dated, how she loved to party with little respect for herself or anyone else...very good. i like it...keep writing
Sincerely- Your Worst Enemy 2007-06-29 ch 1,	abuseFun free-verse! I traditionally don't fall for poetry, but I liked this a lot! Fantastic job! -Kay =)
whispered something profoun... 2007-06-28 ch 1,	abusei don't know what's with everyone seeming to think that a poem needs RHYTHM today. geez, heard of freeverse people? anyways, i liked your poem. i like how you said you (the character i suppose) hated the music because it made you dance. one of those beautiful lines of poetry that stick with you.
Icicle Tears 2007-06-28 ch 1,	abuseWell, one error. Instead of: 'I though' it needs to be 'I thought I felt your mind.' I think. Anyway. I have to ask, you said this was about a party, but-- What happened at this party? It sounds like you met someone...someone spectacular, someone fantastic...someone you love. Or maybe you already knew this person, and you just took that extra step, thanks to the beat. Ah, sweet imagination. Anyway, love, nice work, yet again. -Icicle Tears
substitute angel 2007-06-28 ch 1,	abuseI liked the tone of this. It was written very well and the descriptions gave it life. There was only one thing I'm not sure about: In this sentence you said: "I thought I felt your mind twist as I gripped your shirt," I'm not sure what you meant was the "though" meant to be "thought"? You might want to take a look at that. That's the only mistake (?) I noticed. Very good work. Btw I updated Opening Pandora's Black Box with chapter 1: Murphy's Law and I'd love some feedback on it. Thanks. Two Doors Down: Lacy
perpetual questions 2007-06-28 ch 1,	abuseExcellent use of metaphors and imagery, although from reading other poems of yours, I would say that's not really anything new to say. This is beautiful. I loved the wording you used, and I would pick a favourite line, but there are too many to choose from, as they're all so beautiful. Okay, maybe the lines "(Warm as paradise, Warmer than hell)" were my favourites. Anyway, wonderful job!

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