It's amazing how much you said in that little piece. Like... what is it? Child's shoes for sale: never worn. That's not it, but something like that. Anyway, this is... something that draws me in and it's just amazing.

i think i've experienced something exactly like this...
i love it. great work!

! i did the same thing!
i tried giving prose a (heckaofatrymaybenexttimeit'llbedecent) attempt!
or it was so different feeling to write it.
i really like this.
i like the way there are only three sections--i think this is pretty beautiful.

my most always, ~sara.

Line breaks. This needs line breaks otherwise there is no discernible flow really. Something like:

“you really like this kid?”

(they move their faces closer,
foreheads together,
mouths upturned.
they’re in the woods for hours,
at the mercy of mosquitoes,
trying to forget time.
he lifts her off the ground;
‘i’ll never let you fall’)

the girl looks up,
bangs pushed away
from her face,
“yeah. i do.”

Three stanzas? It's a cute scene but I wouldn't mind some fleshing out of the intro. Otherwise... nice.

.:midnight:.