woah! re-write? really descriptive though, i can really 'see' what you're describing...

The first paragraph started out good and ends good, but the middle drags a little longer than it should. Cut one of the filler sentences. That'll make it flow better.

So, like your prose, as it has enough description to be engaging but stay away from purple prose, but I feel there isn't much emotion coming through in your character.

I mean, like the last sentence before the break
"I closed my eyes, unable to contain my anxiety"
Doesn't really do much for emotion, especially jogging emotion from the reader.

And the previous one
"Blood rushing through my veins, mind numb with terror"
That USED to work, but it's really cliche now. There has to be another way to express your protagonist's emotions without reverting to cliche statements... really FEEL that emotion, and when you feel it, your reader will too.

- JAK

This prologue is very good. I was kind of expecting some sort of infodump prologue, but I was pleasantly surprised. Kudos to you for breaking the mold!

I'm also interested in seeing what jogged protagonist out of his/her beliefs that the fantastical are fake...

Moving on!

- JAK
(Please take a look at my story, too! :D)

YOU BETTER POST MORE! its just starting to get REALLY good! i love the discriptions you put in, it makes it so much more... REAL feeling then other stuff i've read before. if you don't post more i'm gunna be sad... *tears*

*flames

Hey Alexzandrraa! since i already read most of your story i think its wonderfully fantastic keep up the good work!

and for anyone reading this review dont give her too many flmaes ok?

i really like the way you write, your descriptions and the way you convey the feeling of the moment are excellent. you might want to describe the main character more, not in personality, you did a really good job with that, but in appearance.
one more thing, just a simple mistype, in the second chapter you say "worms that had been seduced my moisture" the 'my' should be 'by'.