 AK the Twilight 2007-07-03 . chapter 1This poem is good, but you definitely need to be careful with rhymes. Rhyming is definitely good, but don't sacrifice powerful words to make them rhyme. Your rhythm is also pretty undefined. This is a great poem, especially the clinching last two lines, but the words simply feel unsupported. Try some stronger word choices and experiment with the rhythm and this will really be better. Great job, overall. |