This was a better chapter. There was something flow-i-er about it than the first. I still think that instead of telling us how Jogan would go back to his bed and make love with Ash, you could have led us there with dialogue. It would have been more interesting. I do like Jogan's character more than Cole's, even. He just seems...more realistic. I think for character development, you should make up what their backgrounds were before they met, or while growing up, what happened to them? There are many things I think you can do to keep up the flow of the story, and keep the reader interested in the action. Umm, but still a better chapter. I guess this next chapter is where you figure the real story picks up, it's the one I've been looking forward to since reading the summary... So on I read.

It was the summary for this that caught my attention. I felt like you struggled for the beginning, because you wanted to write after getting out all the beckground information. I think it would have been more interesting if you had done a flashback as to the scene between Cole and Jogan where Cole found out about Jogan and all that good stuff. Then you would have had fun writing it, while filling us in, and still keeping us interested. Not that I wasn't interested. Just...the information was harder to get through, and there wasn't that much of it. I don't feel like the character are solid enough. The names were good. The people and places. I think it would have been more interesting if you'd added more about the dragons. It's not very clear to me at this point what their role or function is in the storyline.

Nice story. Never seen anything like it. I'm sure I'll enjoy it as it progresses. I'm already getting into it.. I just wish the chapters were longer..