 antigonelives 2007-07-07 . chapter 1This is a great poem, and kudos to you for being non-judgmental as most people are about the topic. As someone who was in a situation like this a few years back, I don't appreciate it when people don't consider personal circumstances and cry murder upon anyone who even thinks of herself in a time like this. So, thank you. (And sorry if this is too personal for your tastes. I just thought you should know it was appreciated by someone who has been judged too much for her choice.)
"Because that is what moters do" -- "mothers."
"So she decided that it was best for it/To never live." -- powerful lines, my favourites.
You might want to separate some of the lines into stanzas due to the length of the first part. It would be a lot easier to read. But, that's just a suggestion.
Keep writing! I hope to see more from you!
-Cristina |
 Taltush/MeiMei 2007-07-07 . chapter 1First of all: "that is what moters do" Really? I think you meant "mothers". While a funny typo, I prefer the actual word. Anyways, content... I like this. I like the flow (except maybe the slightly out of sync "So innocent", though I like that it breaks the monotony and sticks in something slightly different, so maybe not) and I like the words. It doesn't feel too overdone, it doesn't have too much drama, and it's calm and clear. I don't really know how to describe this, because it's not like a fault that I can pick out and nag about. I simply like this poem. I enjoyed it quite a bit (except for the typo, but that's easily fixable). You came face-to-face with a difficult subject and came out with something that still maintained a calm demeanor. Very nice job. |