It's quite short but it's good. I sort of agree with Taltush/MeiMei in the emotion part. Good rhyming (which I envy) because I think it's supposed to be there and it's not forced. It flows so well that I didn't mind the shortness of it. I feel like I'm reading old poems down the memory lane. All in all, it's an enjoyable read.

-C.N


P.S. Please take this as a constructive criticism. ^^

i absolutly loved it. it's brief but gets the point across.

This has a very old feel to it. It seems like it would be appropriate in an old, dusty poetry book from the late twenties. Short, rhyming, and lacking quite a bit in the emotion department. Granted, many of those poems from those days were very good, but they had something more than a nice rhyme and quick description. This poem rather left me feeling empty. I would have preferred to have something mean a little more to me. That's not to say I didn't like it - I actually really did. I just figured that I ought to mention that. It felt a bit bland, but at the same time, the rest of it was so good I didn't even mind. I like that the rhymes have a natural feel to them. Not in the sense that they're accidental, but in the sense that they fit. They flow well. All in all, a nice poem that made me think of some older poems. Thanks for this trip back in time. It was quite enjoyable.