i think this story could have had a better ending.
the witch could have came back 2 make da story better.

Interesting. I think if you worked on turning it into even more of a parody it would be better. Right now, it doesn't seem like a satire so much as an imitation.

Also, it's spelled "vial" not "vile." That threw me for a second. And I thought you said it was temporary beauty?

I liked the story but it was to short. I was hopeing for a unusual request from the witch.

How cute! You should definitely elaborate on this.

Hm is it a cross between a play and a narrative? Rather interesting...I thought of doing the combination, but not to that extent.
I don't know exactly what to make of it either.
Perhaps in that sense...
Describe the setting/scenery/atmosphere/characters/everything else before the speeches. You could even mention the props and all. Though, this also sounds a little like a script with the camera and all - one for a movie. Hm.
Try for more in-depth description and all where you have it.
Touch funny, could do improving the dialogue too - since that's what it mostly is.
Anyhow. Cheers.

This story made me laugh. It was random and funny. A nice break from a lot of the depressing stuff on fiction press.

~SilentSongs~

hahaha! it made me laugh. it was rather random but i enjoyed it. it made my day. your good and have a unique writing style (and i mean unique in a good way!) haha! really fun. loved it.