Oh, gods... I read to about #15 before suddenly thinking that you were saying some strange things. Luckily I had read another essay you wrote, and therefore had experienced some of your humour (hah. You call it humour), and therefore checked the category.

You didn't even say that this was a parody!

Shame on you. Shame, shame, shame.

I love the points you made - I agree with you.

As for strong female characters, I would like to see more female characters who are strong in mind. Less damsel in distress types. They don't always have to be physically strong in fantasy.

Hahaha, I loved this. It's refreshing to see somebody laugh at the 'rules' of fantasy writing, because too often they limit what could be the broadest (and funnest) genre to write in. Plus the 'Squee!' factor is pretty much the reason why I read/write stories. Haha. Well done!

I must admit that I did not figure out that this was a joke of any sort at all--I was told so by the other reviews. This is actually rather typical for me, not seeing humor as such unless specifically told.
Also: 9&10 comment on elves and dwarves: ever since Tolkien at the latest, the image of what an elf and a dwarf is has been reasonably standardized, with radical departures from that point almost unseen (only almost--I have seen one or two in my time). If I call my character an elf or a half-elf, most people will have a reasonably good picture of what I mean, from which I can modify a detail or two (or several). This stands in sharp contrast to -any- non-human race in Science Fiction, where they must always be described from scratch. The primary advantage of these "overused" races is that they are overused, because this overuse has put them to a single standard. I like that kind of ability.

This was absolutely amazing. You pointed out a lot of things that most fantasy writers don't take the time to think about. Hey, I've been guilty of some of that stuff as well.

Good job~
I really think more people should take a look at this.

--Jessie my l o v e
p.s. pay it forward

I just had to add that I'm really amused by the number of reviewers who took the first chapter seriously and posted angry responses about how wrong you were about everything. Seriously amused. I'm glad you have the second chapter, though, for the sake of anyone who might not get the irony.

This is a pretty darn insightful piece. It makes a good point (at least from what I got out of it) that there are no absolutes in writing. What some people might see as the mark of something horribly cliche can still make a good story if written well, and a story that makes every attempt to avoid cliche can still be bad. Personally, I think that if you go to the extreme of trying to avoid -everything- that might possibly be cliche, you'd probably end up with a pretty dry story.

So, in other words, I definitely enjoyed this. :)

Enjoyed this follow-up a lot. I guess you can justify nearly anything, if it works with your story?

except for bad prose.

thanks for the update :)

Yipee! I found the 'happy' part of this story, lol. I'm ever so glad that you did a second part instead of leaving it at a one shot, :)
Scorpia

Is it bad that I can't make out which part of this is sarcastic? Lol, I feel like a dumbe blond, :( How am I supposed to write a story after reading that! Lol, got a happy story?
Not bad, very realistic, well written. Maybe you could write a story about what is NOT a mary sue, because from what I can see, anybody that has a brain, is pretty, or falls in love is a Mary Sue.
Scorpia

...or their typewriters.

Got a lot of diverse comments for the first chapter, eh?

Hehe That made me giggle. XD One of my favorite bits was "If you don’t give the information until after the fact, it can be safely assumed that you forgot the explanation and pulled it out of your...sleeve." simply because of the "pulled it out of your...sleeve" part (probably because I'm a bit immature. haha). I think it's funny that some people had no idea that this was all completely sarcasm. I must admit, however, that I don't know who Limyaael is. >_> Oh, and about the hair one. You forgot to say that when a guy in a story has long hair, the author is automatically trying to describe him as feminine. ;p

This was the first time I visited the essay section of fiction press, and now I'm glad I did. I very much enjoyed your tongue-in-cheek humor.

No, I disagree.
1 No, different names from various countries could be next to each other. It doesn’t matter, they just need a root for it.
E.g.
Carson: English
Palo-verde: Spanish.
Same city, not too far apart.
How about this one?
Palm springs: English
San Diego: Spanish
Same state.
2 No, long hair means they like hair being long. The perfection of characters is the real problem.
Dumbledore and Bill in Harry Potter have long hair, and you don’t find them obsessing over Manga. Anne of Anne Of Green gables has long hair, and she’s not a sue.
You find Anne in loads of fights and struggles.
3 Of course your character has to succeed in somethings, it just can’t be everything.
If they don’t succeed at all, then they would be miserable.
The witch in Narnia succeeds in controlling Narnia for some period of time, and yet, she’s not a sue.
4 I don’t understand, why don’t you think that any one is attractive? Sure, there’s a lot of attractive people in the world. That’s why people lust.
I am asian and I have paler skin tones, and my family are too. I am sure paleness and soft eyes people do exist.
5 Why?
They actually make the story very interesting. Harry Potter has Lord Voldemort who is bad and deformed. Remus Lupin is not good looking at all, So, your theory isn’t always right. In order to prove that right, Remus has to be bad too. Bellatrix is gorgeous and she is evil. Fleur is very beautiful and good looking, yet she is good. A writer can depict the bad having good and bad looking people. Yet, Harry Potter doesn’t preach that the good is shiny and beautiful. They can have both, and the main villain can be deformed.
6 I actually agree with this one.
7 Well, What if the story takes place in England or a place like it?
8 So, let me get it strait.
So, it was wrong for Harry to mary Ginny? That’s very sad. Come on, Harry deserves love too.
So Ron and Hermione love affairs is wrong? I don’t think you are right.
9 Centaurs
perfect example. They look very human in the upper part. They are not humans though. What’s wrong with them?
10 Well, tut, tut? How about merpeople and goblins?

11 Wait, Harry Potter has much to prove this one wrong. It has loads of cool visual things.
12 Strong women might generally be sues, but not all. Penelope was a very strong woman to start with.
13 No, Harry Potter. Harry doesn’t have parents. As you can see Lily and James died, so he lives with his aunt and uncle.

Right, I am really tired of proving you wrong, so, I won’t continue. I am sure you can see where your mistakes lie.

konban wa

To be honest a few of these I didn't like. Most of them, however, I agreed with wholeheartedly. Definitely disagreed with the last one: "never admit you made a mistake." I base everything on the fact that I am okay with admitting that I have made a mistake. Otherwise, how does one improve? Anyway...

One thing confused me to no end: WHAT IS INFORDUMPING?

Ha det
-Shan-

I won't tell you what number I got to before I realised this was a parody (at least I actually realised unlike some of your reviewers) but I very much enjoyed it, especially 'Success, even more than long hair, is the sign of a SPESHUL character- the sort of character people that say things like SPESHUL and OH NOES! never write. And if a character succeeds at anything with ease, then you should probably just junk them now and move on to a more realistic protagonist.'

~Marie Silver~