   tendons 2007-07-22 . chapter 1You're actually not a bad writer. You have potential. There are just a few things that you should probably look into.
The average women is about 5'3, 5'4. Men are around 5'10. This can depend on age, where they live (country), etc., but it's more or less the same. Your characters are all rather tall.
They're all the same, too. You know--unnaturally colored eyes without contacts (albinos can have violet eyes, but that's it really. Nobody could have pink eyes), oddly tall, streaked hair, general hatred for whatever they define as "preppy." Your main character especially is a Mary-Sue. Don't make them all so cliche and flat.
The last thing I have to say is that you could probably work on your grammar and sentence structure. |
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