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Reviews For: Love

LiMay
2007-11-01
ch 1,
abuse'something so beautiful, so foreign, yet so widely known'
so true, found myself feeling sad after reading this one.
Sigh. =) Good work anyway
found.eventually
2007-07-31
ch 1,
abuse... why can't i write like you? =)
Georgianna
2007-07-13
ch 1,
abuseThat was surprisingly touching
Sahara Hayden
2007-07-13
ch 1,
abuseI really liked this, particularly the ending. I think it would help the story if you cut out the last line:

"The instructor asked kindly."

By ending with a rhyme, it creates a nice sort of rhythm, and I think that people will still be able to figure out it's the teacher talking. This is just a suggestion. Take it or leave it. I still really enjoyed this.
NeverBefore
2007-07-13
ch 1,
abuse=)

I like it, keep wrinting.
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