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| LiMay 2007-11-01 ch 1, | abuse'something so beautiful, so foreign, yet so widely known' so true, found myself feeling sad after reading this one. Sigh. =) Good work anyway |
| found.eventually 2007-07-31 ch 1, | abuse... why can't i write like you? =) |
| Georgianna 2007-07-13 ch 1, | abuseThat was surprisingly touching |
| Sahara Hayden 2007-07-13 ch 1, | abuseI really liked this, particularly the ending. I think it would help the story if you cut out the last line: "The instructor asked kindly." By ending with a rhyme, it creates a nice sort of rhythm, and I think that people will still be able to figure out it's the teacher talking. This is just a suggestion. Take it or leave it. I still really enjoyed this. |
| NeverBefore 2007-07-13 ch 1, | abuse=) I like it, keep wrinting. |