Reviews for Jasmine Deluca - FictionPress.com

VintageDreams 2008-04-30 ch 1,	abuseFor your information the "First Chapter/Introduction: Lost Princess" is the dream, that is referenced in Chapter 1. This is the first go at the story and it will take a while, please bear with me.
Max Radio 2007-11-03 ch 1,	abuseOkay, so this is probably one of the more unorganized first chapters I've ever seen..."No big deal," I told myself, "it's sure not like I know exactly how to start a story off." Well... Some commas would be nice. And maybe you shouldn't take yourself so seriously...I read this and I fight the urge to just move on to better stories. But that could just be because this storyline has been well-worn, too...a kidnapped princess? Come on. Not to mention the names like 'Lunave' and 'Aganthea'...it'd make sense if they were brought in patiently, like later on when I would have a good grasp of the plot and what's going on, but you just put them in too early. In short, the first chapter (or intro, whatever you want to call it) needs a makeover. 4/10
LovelyQueenFangirl 2007-07-13 ch 1,	abusew00t... new england is for