Nice conversation.. We did learn all of this info already... But I didn't mind seeing a little of Jack authority problems.. He is the best for a reason..
M

I like the start of this.. We have a great Universe.. and the main character, Jack, is promising.. We will just have to see.

Just wow! I can't wait to move on to the next story! Great work...it's both interesting and well written. Your plot line is very original and I can't wait to see what happens in Book Two.

Wow, I only read the Epilogue, but I'm soo happy my friend Rachel suggested this story. It already sounds really interesting I can't wait to continue. I'll finish it tomorrow or something and review again on the last chapter. Great work!

Kat

Okay, here I am again. If you are wondering why I'm posting this so quickly, I didn't remember reading this chapter but apparently I did.

It was a good chapter. Just a bit of the same things I said in the last chapter plus the fact that you left out puncuation in a few parts...I don't know how to spell that. It was funny anyway. The ending where he was trying to discribe her and he didn't know. I laughed.

Hey, my friend Maddie told me to check out this story awhile ago, but I never had time, but I have a little bit of time now. So here is my review.

I find this to be interesting. I like the bit of background you give us. I'm sure it's all very helpful throughtout the story. You're not too bad at 1st person. It's kind of hard for a lot of people, me including. Anyway, you might want to look through this and find every place where you wrote "Jack." You never capitalized his name. And if there is a number under ten you should alway write it out, not put the number. An editor would tell you that if you submitted this.

It seems interesting so far. I'm very excited to read more of this story.

~Keir Haliana

A few grammar errors but other than that a pretty good chapter. I like how you give Jack a real believable personality. Overall, good job on this chapter too!

Nice start. I really like it so far. Though the concept isn't terribly original, the actually story is promising. And when I say the concept I mean the whole vampires fighting each other. But the fact that you've tossed in something VERY original has me lured in by this story. Expect more reviews!

Yea I know you're probably disappointed it's me, but as you know I don't review stories unless I think they're good enough. I loved this story, and I can't wait for the next book to be up.

~Rachel~

Okay, again the idea for this is really good. But I would really look into getting an editor because there were quite a few grammatical and puncuational mistakes in these chapters. Such as missing puncuation, no capitalization when it was needed. Etc. I like where this is going, but when there's a multitude of errors it sort of breaks the flow of the story. Do you get what I'm saying? Hopefully you do, I know sometimes I don't make any sense lol. Keep up the good work, and if you need anything else, just message me and I'll help you to the best of my ability :)
Faith

Well, I read what's up on your zombie story, and I liked it, so I decided to check out some of your other stuff. I was not disappointed. This is a great idea, and it could turn out really interesting. Please keep up the good work and update as soon as possible.

wow very interesting beginning. Umm, there are a couple things I would change. First of all, I would part all the information together. I would probably edit out the let me tell you a story and the flash forward and the present time one. Simply because it isn't needed. Also jack should be Jack. lol. Other than that, this seems to be a very promising story. If you ever need any help, or if you need a beta (which is like an editor) I do that sometimes and I wouldn't mind helping you with this story :) Just let me know!
Faith