This reminded me vaguely of Stephen King, because he sets many of his stories in rural Maine...
And there's a philosophy for the end...didn't some famous person say just about the same thing...only in a huge paper? "There's no way to prevent the past from occurring, over and over again?"
In any case, this also reminded me of Lovecraft.
I suppose I'm back from vacation, and you posted quite a few stories, so I'll go and read the rest now.
Chilling...sort of.
One other comment, though. Third paragraph of the story, the main character is leaning against the car, feeling "discontent bordering on distraught."
"Distraught" is not in the same word category as discontent. One cannot feel something bordering on "distraught" because distraught is an adjective, not a noun. a person *is* distraught, or *becomes* distraught. Do you understand this? Because I'm having a difficult time explaining it myself. Perhaps a clearer choice would be something other than "distraught"...
But I'm confused right now. Maybe I'm wrong. Your story.

K. Stramin

Thanks for the review.

Wow, this story is pretty much summed up by that.

First of all, I really like your discriptions of the feelings your character gets about the town. It's a somewhat fresh idea and is effective the way you used it. I like how your character connects with Marc and how the sadness follows her, even if it is something sad it's nice to see compassion. I can't really even think of much to criticize. (Which for me, is pretty close to amazement and shock. I'm nitpicky when it comes to stories.) It's nice to see your kind of detail after looking for so many Vonnegut-like stories. Very well written.

If you have the time, would you look over Failure is Becoming? I'd like to see if you have any insights that would help it become a better story. Thanks again.

*shiver*

you know... this might be a good start to a series of stories about a 'sensitive'. You know... a girl who... just knows things sometimes.

:) CD

i am going to be honest, the begininng really dragged me in when i read it. i was really believing it...you did an amazing job of drawing me in...and then when the woman started talking to you, thats when it started to go off a little on the realism. buts its ok, because it was really the begging that showed that you had that ability. i think you should press on that.

That was gripping... nice work! Is this a one-shot, though, or will it continue?

Pretty good, I actually enjoyed reading it quite a lot. Some suggestions:

Besides, it was an interesting place; very tiny, by now only a collection of square, sturdy, blue-white houses and a little post office patterned with sunlight and blue-green shade.
--
This doesn't make a lot of sense, and does not prove the original point of the sentence. Why was this place so interesting to the narrator? It sounds basically like everywhere in the North East.

The last paragraph seems sort of like an unnecessary justification for the writing of the story. Why does this incident strike the narrator so deeply? What makes this story need to be told? While the story of the illness is undoubtedly a tragic one, it is not told in a particularly tragic way.


Keep on writing!
Feather La

Wow, you're a really incredible writer! The emotions were captured very well and you didn't do something cheesy like every person there were vampires or the living dead. Anyway, you really made this believable. Keep it up =D