this sounds almost cruel,

callous, like the speaker doesn't care

much for injured boys/girls.

but it's poetic, in all its coldness.

that whole thing is just fantastic. i love the first four lines the most, it's just so beautifully crafted. the metaphors throughout are excellent.

i would love opinions from a talented writer like yourself on my work, it would really mean a lot.

Creative. Original. I like it. ]

so why don't you just

swallow

all your broken teeth

like chipped china tea cups

-that is quite beautiful

i love the running metaphor in this.

Wow, very vivid imagery.

wow.