konban wa

The people who created the contest must have been blown away with such a dark poem. It has this sort of smug tone about it - cruel, callous, and freakishly loving at the same time. Sardonic in a way. Haunting yet lovely. This was absolutely brilliant. Some of the rhymes seemed a bit forced, which detracted slightly from the poem - but not noticably enough to ruin the piece.

I loved the first stanza: "You don't need to see what Mommy has done / Daddy wasn't being very nice" It sort of alludes to the mother herself being abused, but then the rest of the poem goes on to correct that first assumption.

Dark and brilliant. Kudos.

Zaijen
-Shan-

CRAP that actually kind of scared me. especially the ending. i'm guessing she killed the dad? -breathes- intense.

one suggestion
"and you are only three" should it be "were"? because most of your poem is in past tense (and the stanza), and that line is in present tense

creepy and sweet... what a mother would do for her kid..

I voted for this one @ PF, not sure if it had won anything though. Great writing as usual.