Reviews for Jonathan - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Jonathan

Amelia sorrow 2008-02-10 ch 10,	abuseOk, so because of my nasty flu bug it took me a few days to read this, BUT I didn't want to stop reading it. I absolutely loved it, and am looking forward to the sequel! Jonathan is an amazing character, and I'd like to hear more of his story. Keep up the good work! Amy S.
shutitoff 2008-01-31 ch 8,	abuseThat was an interesting twist. Wolf's actions were unexpectedly touching, too, but not unbelievable. I won't comment too much on it incase people are reading the reviews before they get to this chapter :) I'd also like to know Kurgan's motivation. It is a good solid story so far, but not polished as well as it could be. There are some errors that need to be adjusted, particularly in Ch7 I think. And might I suggest varying the lengths of sentences? Take away some of the commas and put in some short sentences instead. Thank you for the review on /my/ vampire story, I'll have to go back to that one day :D Looking forward to the next chapter!
Carmel March 2007-07-26 ch 5,	abuseOh, I liked this a lot. I think that you should keep it the way it is, if you can work with it that is. It kind of sets up a few things and introduces interesting new characters. Can't wait to see where this goes :) ~carm~
Carmel March 2007-07-21 ch 4,	abuseWow. This is an amazing story so far. You've developed the characters to a perfect point, where there is still some mystery to them but we still feel like we know them. The storyline is clever and quite gripping. The writing is absolutely wonderful, very flowing. All in all, great job on this, and I can't wait for more :) ~carm
E. Knight 2007-07-19 ch 2,	abuse...and the plot thickens! Very nice. I like it a lot, all your characters are so believable, and I'm already feeling attached to Jonathan. I'm looking forward to the next chapter, and I think this will be my very first 'Favorite Story'.
shutitoff 2007-07-19 ch 2,	abuseThat was a good chapter - you introduced the new characters well. Just one exchange I didn't fully understand: “I see you’ve grown close your human friend.” She said, and Jonathan flinched. “I can smell her all over you. You haven’t grown close to a mere human have you?” She acknowledges that the other vampire has grown close to Jael, but then proceeds to ask if he has grown close to her?
SombreroWearinSharkbite 2007-07-18 ch 2,	abuseI like it a lot. Jael is a very likeable character, as is Jonathan. Update, please! Sharky.
E. Knight 2007-07-17 ch 1,	abuseI like it a lot. The plotline I'm hoping to see is Jael growing up, and her relationship with Jonathan becoming more complex, and eventually intimate. And then I can see Jael longing to become a vampire, so she can stay with Jonathan forever, and perhaps you could add more conflicts when it gets to that point. Such as Jonathan not wanting to end her life before she's had the chance to live a normal human life. Or something like that. You have a wonderful start, and I'm really excited to see where you'll take this.
shutitoff 2007-07-17 ch 1,	abuseI absolutely loved it. Such an original concept; a twist on the tired old vampire tale :) Possible plotlines? Maybe Jael gets into trouble and needs to be rescued, or maybe Jonathan's contact with her puts her at risk. What kind of trouble can a ten year old girl get into? I don't know.

Return to Top