Hmm. Your blurb "young but powerful magician" makes me think Gary-Stu right away, but hopefully you'll prove otherwise ^_~

From initial glance, it seems like you need to work on formatting your story with respect to typical writing standards:

(( “Well, what do you expect? I’m not even a Class-E slayer yet!” Kaou snapped back as he gave his feathered friend a glare. Yazu ignored him and flew down to pick up a small ring that the demon left in its wake. He handed it over to Kaou while saying, “Here’s the demon’s ring. Make sure you don’t lose it like last time!”

Kaou rolled his eyes. “I’m not gonna lose it! Now let’s go home already!” he exclaimed. As Kaou began to walk further into the forest, he headed towards an old run-down laboratory in the middle of the eastern mountains. ))

Should be:

“Well, what do you expect? I’m not even a Class-E slayer yet!” Kaou snapped back as he gave his feathered friend a glare.

Yazu ignored him and flew down to pick up a small ring that the demon left in its wake. He handed it over to Kaou while saying, “Here’s the demon’s ring. Make sure you don’t lose it like last time!”

Kaou rolled his eyes. “I’m not gonna lose it! Now let’s go home already!” he exclaimed. As Kaou began to walk further into the forest, he headed towards an old run-down laboratory in the middle of the eastern mountains.

*
If someone new is speaking, they should always get a new paragraph. :)

Otherwise, looks good. Hopefully it won't be Gary Stu D:
Good luck with the rest! I'll be watching ^_^

--JAK
(Please check out my story, too! :D)

Word of caution: Its better not to post multple chapters in one day. Spread them out to every other day or a weeks time. That way you dont keep your viewers in suspense, but it is more likely to get readers that way.

Nice chappie though

Very nice ^_^ Im glad I didnt offend you. I like how you put in 'real' things from our world, and used reasoanble ways to explain magic

Huh, not bad at all. I think I'll be following this one ^_^ Something bothered me about it, I cant quite put my finger on it. I supose, for lack of better words, that it seems like you took a manga (japanese comic book) and attempted to write it in story format. Thats the only way I can think to put it. ^_^;; Keep it up

Hm...sounds like it could be a fun plot, I'll have to keep an eye on this one.

I love your descriptions, the detail really helps flesh out your character. I think I would've preferred if the descriptions had been a little more subtly introduced instead of blatantly revealed at the beginning, but that tends to be hard to do and can really mess up the flow of the story.

Keep writing!