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| elephant121 2007-10-22 ch 2,  | abuseAloha! Yeah just trying that out. I'm not Hawaiian or anything. Ah well I'm glad Kemp really wasn't in this chapter too much. But seriously, she needs to break up with that kid. Anyways, it's nice to see that she's coming around to Johnny, although I'd be careful to bring them together too soon. It's only the second chapter! :-) By the way, I love the name Johnny. I use it spiratically in my stories all the time. I don't know what I like about it, but it just has a nice ring to it, you know? Anyways, I'm procrastinating right now and must get back to work. Take care, elephant121 |
| elephant121 2007-10-22 ch 1, | abuseHi Irony :-) I was excited to see you had a new story posted! Ah this one was crazy - I'm really not liking that Kemp guy. But Susie and Johnny seem perfect for eachother! If I was Susie, I would definitely break up with Kemp. He seems like a horrible boyfriend. Hopefully within the next couple chapters she'll figure that out! Are Johnny and Patrick a year older than Susie? I can't remember if that was in the story or not. Anyways, great first chapter! It definitely brought me in, minus the whole boyfriend smoking pot scenario. Take care, elephant121 |
| Your New Aesthetic 2007-07-19 ch 2, | abuseAH ! You can't end it right here! No way! It's not fair! Very very very good. Extremly captivating. I ned to know what's going to happen next. Update soon, pretty please ! Aesthetic |
| Malachi Vane 2007-07-17 ch 1, | abusePersonally, I trouble following what was going on in the beginning of the chapter, but maybe that's just me. The use of vulgar language is completely unnecessary, but once again, just my opinion. A great story doesn't have to use vulgarity to be a great story. With that, keep it up, and I look forward to seeing how this story develops! |
| Your New Aesthetic 2007-07-17 ch 1, | abuseIt was pretty good, must say. It was a smal bit confusing at first, and I had a hard time understanding who each character is. But if you do a good long edit yourself, I bet you could fix that a bit. All in all, Ilike it, and I can't wait to see where you're going with it. Oh, and "hi" is spelt "high". Keep doing what you're doing, and update soon! |