Your descriptions are getting better man, they're improving with each chapter. I like how you keep it real, with actual things people would have... XBOX, Jordans, Vans, etc... He's a duffel bag boy lol

But anyway good work man, this supernatural school idea is pretty cool, lookin forward to seeing where you take this.

~ King Golden

lookie, i finally got to this! i think you show a great passion for writing, and i love your witty humor, and the plot is off to a great start. But the last paragraph seems a little stiff. You should show confrontations toward the two that explain Mya's unwillingness to part with Nero. Not to mention the stuff about him hanging out with her friends is unneeded. perhaps a scene of them all hanging out together. other than that i really enjoyed this chapter. i'll have to get to the others later, but i think the story will be a great addition to my C2.

Emrald Archer

Hey man, thanks for reading & reviewing my story. This story you've got here is pretty good. I like the way you use real-life type dialogue, and the rapper quotes. (RIP Pac aka makaveli).

The only thing I could see that bothered me was that you use "was" and all the other "be" verbs too much. Like here:

"I was excited that she was here."
It gets the point across yeah, but being repetitive with words in the same sentence can bore the reader.

"Her presence excited me."
^ When you take out the "was" and use other verbs, its starts to be a little more descriptive... feel me?

But yeah, I'm liking this so far and am looking forward to finding out what happened to Nero in the next chapter. Peace.

~ KG