Okay, this is going to sound weird, but I randomly stumbled on your story, and guess what? I live in Tucson, too! How's that for coincidences?

I really enjoyed it. You did a really realistic job as portraying someone as pregnant, and I loved your imagery. You're definitely talented. Keep it up! :-)

I love the line: "The thoughts run at me like I am the matador with the red scarf..." Great imagery, not trite or overused or cliche. Fantastic.

I like the whole rain/nature/pregnancy analogy, but maybe you could expand that a little further. For example, I found "there are clues like the creosote but you can never tell if they will carry through" a little confusing. I also didn't love the line "finally, giving the thirsty desert a logn and satisfying drink". I don't know why, it just doesn't seem as strong as the rest of your story.

All in all, great. I still love the woman's thoughts. It's funny without being goofy or untrue or preposterous. And the whole rain analogy, if you clean it up a little bit, is great- the kind of stuff that high school English students will someday have to analyze!

Love, Maggie

I really really like your story. It's original and I almost felt like you were an actress getting into character.

Haha, your settings wouldn't allow anonymous reviews. See what a good friend I am; signing in and everything just to read this story?

Anyways, sorry. It's late and I don't make much sense past ten. So I've got four minutes to make sense.

This is really really good Ms. Biddle. I am like super totally mucho impressed-o. This is definitely the best piece I've seen of yours...ever. Yeah. That's right. Ever. The character is so funny, and her commentary on people's reaction to her burgeoning belly (“You’re too pregnant, it frightens me to watch you") is hilarious. Your dialogue is really excellent in this.

Let's see...as a fellow Tucsonan, your descriptions of monsoon weather are spot on and fit perfectly into the backdrop of this story. The things that I always find so great about your pieces is your ability to say "a lot in a little." I could give a million examples, but really this talent pervades everything you write.

My only comment would be that when you start the story, give us a couple line breaks and a line (* or something) to let us know the story is starting. It just makes your presentation cleaner.

AWESOMENESS!