 UtterWeirdo 2008-09-13 . chapter 1Quite awesome. Not the same colors, really, (here: http:// moch acocafan.deviant /art/My-Synesth esiatic-Alphabet-97747239)(take out the spaces) but awesome. |
 Maziana 2008-07-07 . chapter 1Interesting poem. I read the Rimbaud one, and I can see what you mean. I particularly liked your descriptions of A, U, and O. They really do work very well... especially U. And I like the lines "wearing jackets of sticky ink, typewriter-fresh." I would just suggest you use a different word for "weak" in either A or E's description. And also "a sharp thing" in I's description might be better changed. But great job! |
 Tikvah Ariel 2007-07-20 . chapter 1I guess its been a while since I've read your writing, but I wasn't that big of a fan of this. You had some delightful metaphors (old ladies perfume), but it sounded forced to me. Like you needed the metaphors, because the whole poem was about telling, and not really showing. But maybe thats just me, sorry. |
 Sophie Ulquiorra Allen 2007-07-20 . chapter 1Lovely descriptions in all stanzas; it is really vivd and does actually remind me of how important vowels are. I love how you give them each a hint of personality. However, I was wondering if for the description of each vowel, you should stick with words that have said vowel in them. The one that I caught was 'u', where you say: the color of the unknown, mermaids, dragon's scales. Hm, I don't know, but it seems to me that you might want to add in other words with a 'u' in them, it makes for a much better effect. That aside, I love the poem. |
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