Are you suffering from writer's block sweety? :) I hope everything is well and you'll find the want and ability to move forward with the story soon.

Are you actually planning to continue this? It's july and your AN stated feb, please do

Tae is the seme now! I love it more that way, Nigel was always a uke for me and when he took control on tae in part 2 it was weird, but I'm loving this story like all of the ones you have written, I just don't review much sorry. Great job.

ha, I just looked it up, and realized his name is Paul not Peter. I'm so sorry. I get confused with P names, and I had read the story yesterday, and since Paul hasn't had much in the story yet, I hadn't really remembered his name :p But I'll make sure to memorize it now: Paul, Paul, Paul, Paul, Paul. There I think I got it stuck in my head now. Sorry again!!

-eVil uNicorns-

Of course I'd love to leave a critique. I was actually planning on saying something yesterday when I finished this, I just got really, really tired and fell asleep. Then when I woke up, got distracted by reading Unbreakable (awesome story btw, and I'll def. be leaving a review on that after I finish here).

This story, I have nothing bad to say about. It's intriguing, amazing, gripping, and just overall awesome :) I've never been someone who loves angst (though I read a lot of it, and write it often), but you know how to make the angst more realistic. Some people drag it out to where it's whiney and just very annoying, but I actually felt as if I was feeling the emotions the characters were feeling. Which was a major plus in a story.

I'm also someone who loves to get inside a characters head and analyze it. I know they're fictional, but for some reason I feel as if they're real, and figuring out why they do what they do is very interesting. Your characters are perfect for that. Why? They've got so much flaws that I really have to get deep inside their heads to figure them out, to know exactly what these flaws are and what kind of outcome they make. And I'll start with Nigel first because he's my favorite and I feel his emotions stronger.

Nigel, to me, has trouble letting go. He's lost the one person he truly loved, and a brother at the same time in one. He uses alcohol to overcome his loneliness, hurt, and the memories that center on Aillen. To me, he's kind of weak. But not in a bad way (though it does cause some drastic things to occur). He just can't deal with not being with Aillen. He loves him. Yes, there may be some animosity (though he blames himself more), but he still can't not love his twin. His old lover. I feel as if Nigel is someone who, when he loves someone, he can't get past that love. He can't move on. And that definitely shows since it's been so long, and he's still a mess from everything Aillen has done to him. He NEEDS his brother back in his life. Even if they're not together, I think he'd be at least a little better if him and Aillen were at least working things out, trying to move past what happened and be a family again. What's so hard to read when I get to Nigel's parts is that he's so hurt, so lost and so lonely that I literally feel hatred toward Aillen for causing that. I think that's one of the reasons why Nigel is a favorite. He's so broken that I immediately want to hug him and make him better.

Aillen is so hard to really pinpoint in flaws, and reasons why he does this and that. He's got so many. At least I feel that way. One major flaw that feels like a red flag to me, is Selfishness. I think Aillen is selfish. Everything he does may seem to be for someone else, but I really think he does it for himself. An example, Aillen hurt Nigel. He started everything and when he saw that his brother was more dependant on him, he turned around and broke him. He said it was for Nigel, so that Nigel would be happy and move on because they couldn't be happy together. What they were doing was taboo. But if you really think on it, Aillen knew that doing what he did would break Nigel (he knows his brother). So he regrets his decision, saying that it was rushed and finally apologizes after being forced to (by Claire). He knows he broke Nigel more. What does he do? He lets eight years pass by, showing love to Claire and spending his life without even trying to help his brother, when he knows that what he did had to have had some effect. He then finds out Nigel has been drinking... oh so he worries about that but does he do anything about it? No. He doesn't. He proposes, making his future more concrete where Nigel still isn't a part of it, still isn't thought of really. He's got guilt, he's got regret and confusion, but does he even make the effort to help his brother? Does he stop an think, "what I'm doing his hurting him more and more." If he really thought that then maybe he could do something to help Nigel. He's killing his brother, someone who he claims to 'love' and he's not doing a dang thing about it. he's living his life with only thoughts of guilt and blame that isn't causing any sort of action. To me, that's selfishness. He's thinking more for himself then his own blood. And I know that there are probably reasons for that. Like, maybe he's afraid that if he tries to make an effort to help Nigel, to become brothers again, that he'll realize that all along he does love him deeply (not in a brotherly way). So I guess Aillen is also afraid as well. Another flaw. And Blind and stupid (I don’t mean literally). What he's doing isn't helping. And if I'm right about the prologue (that something bad happened to Nigel) then my guess is that the fault would lie on Aillen's shoulders. It'd be all his fault. Or at least the majority would be, because although Nigel is a grown man, Aillen knows that Nigel is and was dependent on Aillen. But he doesn’t do anything about that.

Wow this is getting drastically long, sorry. I tend to go on and on when I really get in a character. Pretty much, both characters have flaws that are causing damage, tremendous damage and I can't wait to find out what happens. And I'll only say one more thing before I'll stop writing (cuz this is getting novel length, I'm sure). A part of me wants both brothers to be with one another in the end, but another part (one that sees how much hurt they cause) feels as if they shouldn't. I think that Nigel and Tae would be perfect for each other. Tae could be Nigel's crutch, someone there for him through dark times, help him move past Aillen and learn to love again. He'd stick with him and not throw him away so easily. Peter (I think that's his name) should probably be with Aillen, even if he seems like trouble to me. But I really don't know if I feel like Aillen loves Claire (at least not like he loved Nigel). A part of me feels as if he's only with her because of everything with Nigel, to help get past it. I think that if he's feeling things for Peter than it means that the love he thought he felt for Claire must not be so strong. So, if Aillen doesn't end up with Nigel in the end, then he should be with Peter, and Nigel should be with Tae. And hopefully, the ending isn't tragic. I'd die if something bad happened to Nigel (which I'm afraid is what does happen).

Anyway, sorry for writing so much. I get this way sometimes, but I promise I won't write so much next time :) I just had a lot to say since I'm a new reader and there's so much... actually I have more to say on both characters but I'd feel bad if you had to read so much. so, great story. I really do love it, and I can't wait to read more. So please update whenever you can :)

-eVil uNicorns-

P.s. if none of this makes sense, then sorry. i tend to get confusing when I ramble.

Very good. I liked it!

I don't like the thought those two did the do with each other. I am still in denial... TT_TT

And what does the boss have planned for out little Aillen? Ohohohohoho... ^o^

wow i love this story :)
I like the angsty style :)

YAY! Paul half-naked with speedo-style underwear!
...erm...oh yes, the chapter...

Excellent! Bravo! Though next time, just have Paul pounce him and bend him over his beautiful, shiny, hardwood desk! :D

Listen to the sounds Aillen makes! Listen!!

Until next time!
-Jak

I wonder what Paul was going to say if Aillen had told him the wedding was off, declare his love I'm hoping and am still hopeful it will happen :)

(Hopefully fictionpress won't mess with this one)

Ok, so no apparent reason for Nigel's mother call him in this chapter. it could be because NIgel was misleading us and it was not about Aillen at all, or it could be because the time frame is all messed up and the things happening in their chapters are not simultaneos. Whatever it is, now I fell like I can ask without being silly: Why was Nigel's mom calling him when he was crying like a baby in Tae's arms?
(to write a whole paragraph just to ask that is actually silly on itself, but whatever... o.o')

Now, I feel sorry for Aillen too. I mean, how creepy is that to have sexual fantasies about your boss? And then receive hints that it might not be a one-sided thing? Geez, Paul was creepy. Sure, it was Aillen's point of view so it was a little biased by his paranoia, but it would be lovely to find out the truth about what is going on in Paul's mind. Like why he is so good and scary at the same time for Aillen, why he let his employee sleep in his office (who knows, it could be part of awesomelly complicated plan to get his sexy/cute/young/charming/whatever fits employee to do things with him that employees don't usually do \o\o\)

(Oh, damn it, my brain is over-reacting to stimulation. I'll tell you about it later on. Just bear in mind I'm being over-stimulated for the past week or so and more nonsenses than usual are passing through my mind at the moment)
(If anything I said is actually true, then we minght need to rethink who's got the nonsense! =D)








(kidding =D I liked the chapter and the way it might continue or might not continue.)

Now, I just feel like I could scream...

SEXUAL HARASSMENT! Ò_Ó


But I'll wait before I'm sure of it. You know, the thing about being silly and all that (like I care... =D)

Oh, and good luck with chapter 33!
No preasure, really. You know we all just want an awesome lemon that will make us readers come like animals at each new paragraph, so there isn't much to worry about. NOthing at all. =D

Yeah, I'm talking more rubbish than usual. I'll stop now before someone gets trauma for life. O.o

Good luck!

James

Yo!
I have no idea of the English equivalent, but in Portuguese we have a say that is "better later than never" or something like that. Well, that is me right now, isn't it?
Shame on me I'm so lazy; I had to wait until the next chapter came up to look at the un-read alert in my mailbox about this one >.< Shame on me!

Anyway, the chapter!

Hem, hem...
I was grinning already at the author's note. Ok, so the lemon is still to come, but the build-up to it can be interesting too... *trying to pass and sensible person that does not read stories just for the lemon bits*

Tae seems to be a sort of equivalent to Claire in more ways than one. He had his moment as psychologist there. He made the child in a tantrum realise stuff. And wow, NIgel has lots of hide-outs for the good stuff. I laughed a little when he thought of it, even though it was suppose to be a dramatic (!) moment...

I was going to ask what is happening to Aillen that made his mother phone Nigel too much, but won't let me finish!)

Alright! So now i get the impression that aillen's boss wants to be with him in an intimate way and that's why he's asking him is he really going thru with his wedding plans to claire i'm definitely looking forward to the sm(next)x chapter.


And as for the last part a vibrator is always better lasts a heck of a lot longer than a man. Only thing wrong with that is you can't cuddle with it when your finished.^^

Good chapter, I liked it :) Keep it up and update soon, I can't wait to see what happens next!
Faith

Dude my mom got a facebook too! but i haven't talked to her or any other family online yet about vibrators... ;/

but this was good! Paul is a total creepster, and I'm kinda starting to feel bad about Aillen now...but just a little bit mind you!

Excellent work, and I can't wait for more! I wonder how much more we have of this awesome story!