this was freakin awesome, i love the story in the collection of poems smoothly transitioned from one part to another, really good read

i love this

this is beautiful, twisted, but in a beautiful way. awesome

i would say to make it into a story :]

I liked it alot. It honestly was really good there aren't many people who can write in verse. I think that you should go back and try a more detial version of verse but still leave it in that writing style. Make each chapter at least like 400 words just so there is a bit more detial.

Lyss.
This makes me want to cry.
Keep writing, babe.

once again! ^_^ i loved it!

favorite line(s): here's a toast.
to all your broken smiles,
and your mid night breakdowns you never used to have.

i love this :]

i like the way its written, kind of like a poem so if you want more reviews then you might wanna move it to the poetry section instead of the fiction section and see if that helps. But overall, its just the strange way its written and how its rated M still. You shouldn't be worried about reviews cause stories on here take a long time to get a lot of reviews, you just gotta get it out there.
Theres not much to it, its like the basic stuff of each chapter instead of an actual chapter. That might be a turn off for some readers.
So far my favorite line is from a chapter i forget, its "we're sitting still in silence, and the end of the cigarette is the only light we have. i can see your eyes shine, in the dark." and my favorite chapter is 13, i hope that keeps you writing

For some reason this story really grabs me, there's something intriguing and catching about the fact there isn't much to it. As if it speaks more because of the lack of details, meaningless details not included in your story I mean, you include all the necessary details. I like it and I'll read more if you add more.

love it! ^_^