|Reviews for Past and Progress|
| LeenElle 7/26/07 . chapter 1
I really liked your first chapter, the writing and imagery is great, I felt like I could really feel her pain. One thing, probably just a typo, but did you mean for her to say that she had "no where" else to go? My eyes stuck there for a minute without the no...just an observation! Great job, I'll look for your next update.
| C.A. Sangster 7/26/07 . chapter 1
This is brilliant so far, its really lovely. It's very well written and full of emotion. I really like it, please continue.
| screamstar87 7/25/07 . chapter 1
I really liked this, very emotive and touches on the fact that just because you've survived the most dreadful horrors doesn't mean you're going to be happy for the rest of you life at having escaped.
The conclusion was lovely, the compromise and the realisation of the changes that bereavement and prolonged privations can make to a person.
However, I do have one minor constructive criticism, which you may choose to ignore, as it really is quite pedantic.
Though you do write beautifully, and seem to have a knack for symbolism, some of your sentences are a little complex, for instance 'A sensation of surrealism overwhelms me while walking through these streets again, like a fairytale without the protagonistic whimsy.'.
This can make the piece read a little stilted, although there is a definite reduction in this kind of thing as the story continues, and it flows very well for it.
Besides this, your lack of simplicity has its major advantages. You don't spell everything out, you let the reader assume some things and figure them out themselves. This makes for a far more interesting read, and more of a literary vibe than simply telling a story in minutae. And a wide vocabulary is always useful, letting you assume the voice of a historical protagonist without a modern tinge.
Please do write more, whether on this or another piece, and I will be adding you to my author alerts as you are obviously a good writer and I expect to see some good work from you in the future.