Reviews for Rainy Day Love - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Rainy Day Love

jekodama 2008-01-27 ch 1,	abuseWell, it's sweet, but as lovely as it might be, I think that you should change the tense and write it in past. Also, you should revise your use of punctuation marks, because I feel that there are parts where the flow can be improved with the appropiate ones. As for the story itself, good characterization, even if it was really short, they had good chemistry.
Rischel 2007-09-26 ch 1,	abuseI really like it. It's what a lot of people read stories for. But the good thing about yours is that we don't have to read all the extra stuff just to get to the good part. Yay you!
emotionless-stares 2007-09-17 ch 1,	abuseAww..this is cute
KrazyRachie 2007-09-12 ch 1,	abuseoh! yay!
criti-sized 2007-09-04 ch 1,	abuseThis short was very nice and tender in its own way. I like the descriptions of both Ella and Logan, and the short introductions of the other people that didn't play a part but made a point. It was new for me to read a story in present tense, but I'm never judgemental on these things, so it was very good to see a change in narrations. The ending of the short was a bit abrupt and felt kind of rushed, but it fit. I mean what else can be said about a kiss, or leading up to it. After it happens, it's over,lol. Interesting short. C.S.
Delerious 2007-08-27 ch 1,	abuseIts very sweet.But the ending was kinda abrupt.
The.Most.Beautiful.Lie 2007-08-26 ch 1,	abuseaww so cute i love it
starlit x sky 2007-08-26 ch 1,	abuseAww so cute! Good job!
Kristen 2007-08-07 ch 1, anon.	abusehehe that was sweet.
outsidersgirl 2007-08-06 ch 1,	abusegood one
Jenabean 2007-08-03 ch 1,	abuseI really like this one. It is cute. I think that it would be better if she didn't hiss him to and the ending wasn't so abrupt, but it was still cute.
hi 2007-08-02 ch 1, anon.	abuseNice story, I liked it. I think it would've gone better with a first person point of view instead, though. But I guess if you wanted to do present tense then it's alright.
Zellous 2007-07-27 ch 1,	abusesee? A good Beta really improved the quality of this. Also, it was sweet. I was smiling the whole time I was reading it. Just a few things; It was a little redundant at times. like - Slowly, he leans down to give her a kiss. She leans forward a little and their lips meet in kiss. In one of those breath taking kisses, the one that makes your heart race in your ears. The last two sentences should be one, separated by a comma. At least I think it should be. And the word kiss is used way too much. Personally, I think it should be left out of the first sentence. You could put something like, -Slowly he leans toward her- or something like that. Anyway, thats all from me. Keep up the good work, Zell.
ihrtbks 2007-07-25 ch 1,	abuseaw! You pulled off present tense very well in this; that's difficult to do without making it all confusing. You have some period and comma errors in your dialogue. If they're just speaking it, it's a comma; but if they're performing and action like smiling or swinging, it's a period. You missed a few periods, but nothing major. Another thing you may want to work on is using different verbs: You use "laugh" and "swings" a lot. Now that I'm done being 'mean', I really like how you characterized Logan and Ella; it flows well, doesn't seem forced or anything. They have great chemistry as well.
Just Breathing 2007-07-25 ch 1,	abuseAw, the ending was cute. It was sort-of that typical cliche thing with the falling, followed by a kiss. Yet, the last paragraph made it quite sweet. Um, one thing for me that I didn't like was probably just the present tense. But don't take offense to that. I'm just picky and like the past tense much better. Nice one-shot. Anyway, I'm off to review something else. Just Breathing AKA Steph from Reviewer's Found.

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