Reviews for Mary Go Round - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Mary Go Round

Kat The Great 2008-09-26 ch 3,	this is my first time reading this story but don't you dare leave it on a cliff hanger for that long again. i can't wait to see what happens. oh and question.. where is this located because this school is like toatly different from mine, but i kinda wish it was mine. peace love happiness
ryansheart 2007-08-10 ch 2,	This is both points of views? I didnt know that until he was preffered to as Rick. Maybe at the beginning you should have Rick or Mary's name, so the reader knows which point of view they're reading from. Overall, I liked the male lead. He seems very interested in those girls. His friends are like any typical males I know at school. This is going to be interesting too! Loved it ^ ^ Isabella.x
ryansheart 2007-08-10 ch 1,	Wow this is definitely a very good teen-like crushy type-y thingy story... did I just ramble on? Most likely. I like it, the beggining and characterization. You could work on the dialogue though, it seems kind of bland, when you use said and told a lot. Around the second paragraph you keep using 'looked', maybe use other words like: 'glanced', 'took a glimpse', 'gazed'. But that's all I saw that I could nitpick ^ ^ The rest seemed awesome enough ^_^ and yes, I know who mikey way, and MCR are. They're an alright band. I'll go check out your one-shot in a sec. Isabella.x
its.Nothing.Special 2007-08-01 ch 2,	Aww, (-grins-) this is really great so far! :DD Your writing style is easy to follow, and I love your characters already. Nora, Sophia, and Mary already have a really funny and real chemistry between them --honestly, it's awesome to read. xD Rick sounds HAWT, LOL, and you did a really great job writing in his POV; (-gasps-) a dude that sounds like a dude?! NO WAY! I know I have a hard time with that, so...woohoo! Good job! Theo is a cutie pie. x) Umm, you've got great spelling/grammar, seriously, but you mess up in dialogue tags. For example: [“Eat your food and shut up.” I said.] Since you're adding an "I said" there, the period before the end quotation should be a comma. [“Sure, sweetie.” She said, taking the empty bottle from him.] Period should be comma and "She" shouldn't be capitalized. [“No, that’s ok. Thanks.” I said.] Again, comma instead of period. I hope I explained that well enough...do you get the picture? Anyways, I really love the idea of this, and I can't wait to see where this is going. Hope you update soon! ;)becky P.S. I added this to my alerts. xD
iced-faerie 2007-07-31 ch 2,	Too bad you haven't got any reviews as of yet..I truly believe this story is very intriguing..I especially enjoyed Rick's Point of view..definitely can't wait until Rick and Mary meet..and i definitely can't wait until the next chapter, I do hope that it will be soon!

Return to Top