i loved this its so poetic update as soon as you can

Interesting. It's a very poetic and symbolic narrative. My main criticism is that there are a lot of grammatical errors and typos. I like the surreal quality of the piece, it's very well written. Nice job, keep writing.

Wow, that was amazing. Really, really, really perfectly written. You have this way of discribing things that is beyond me. It's very, very rare, and I think that you write better than almost anyone I know. It's really beautiful, in a depressive, sort of over cast way. You did very, very good.