ok 3 questions z was sober last chapter but in this one he's drunk was there an invisible bottle of jack lying around? second why didn't he wish them all clothed? and third who was first sumire or aria :)

Lol! That was quite funny! If they got that drunk on juice and carbonated stuff, wonder what happened if they consumed large amounts of alcohol? Heheh...looking forward to see what happens to Z.

rofl i've to admit awesome ending to the chapter next chapter i gotta read highly amusing chapter

didn't get to see the original chapter 2 but this is a masterpiece had my full attention from start to end

Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, it does. Lol, I laughed when Z was lamenting about shrinking HALO to a pocket size...

The scenes between Aria and Z were a bit awkward, but I could still sense their emotions toward each other. The last little bit was nice, too. I think you've improved a bit with showing your character's emotions, as I find it easier to 'tune' into their thoughts.

And whoa! Z is constantly shocking me - stopping the flow of time, now? What is he gonna do next? Incinerate an entire planet?

Awesome, awesome, awesome! (Though who the heck is that creepy bad guy who did something suspicious to Aria?)

Wow. Well done. The conversation you painted between Z and Rhyxalu was done to really great effect =)

I see you've gotten the document manager to work, ;).

Oh boy. Sounds like Z and his crew have a crazy challenge ahead of them. I can't wait to see how they accomplish this mission. They do succeed, don't they? It would've been nice of Z could've shrunk HALO and fit it into his pocket. Then he would have a secret back-up weapon, lol.

Got to say, your writing vastly improved with the passing chapters. :) Love your language.

..I would comment more on the story, but I'm not that far in yet Q_Q

Two things: I want a H.A.L.O. armor. And second, that last sentence really, really made me nervous. It's a very scary sentence. O.O

I enjoyed this chapter. Z has come a long, long way from the beginning of the story. I am still somewhat baffled as to what the connection is between Aria and Z, but nevertheless, I really love your battle scenes. In most stories, where there are a lot of those scenes, it gets boring after a while with all the repetition. But with yours, there's so much creativity going on, especially with Z's ability. It's all great. ^^

why was the ability to evade all shots gone? i know it's a broken ability but it's part of the suit seems kinda odd he didn't use it even if to make it look like a pirate or terrorist raid that was what the fleet was for right?

Oh wow. It's so long. I should take lessons from your length.

well was decent chapter was long enough :)

It really has been a long time since your last update. Ah well, slow and steady wins the race.

I still love your writing style, and I wish that you would pop out more chapters but I can't write that much, so I won't ask you to.

I have a couple of ideas for Z to create, it would be your choice on using them though.

1: A tracker that is set to Aria, and Aria only.
2: A pocket in space-time that he could put junk in, that he could open at any time, anywhere. He would never have to worry about losing stuff again!
3: Complete intangibility at his mere thought. (AKA walking through walls, some people don't know what it means)

If you don't like them, or just don't want to use them due to an allready writen chapter, it is perfectly fine.

Thank you for writing this, I frequently find myself during school waiting to get home to check on what new chapters there are. As for the late delay of this review, I am a Senior in high school too. With three IB classes.

Anyway... RFYS

Pterodactyl

The Ancients...yeah, have no idea what they are. :) When this story is complete, I'll have to read it from beginning to end in one go just to get everything, lol. I'm looking forward to the next chapter, though - love his suit of armor!

well no prob with lack of action sometimes ya just need to introduce plot points without clutter so they stand out.