This is an interesting first chapter, I was hoping you'd continue.

The prose flows naturally and the narrative is unique but easy to follow. There are a few grammar/spelling mistakes here and there and a few oddly placed words, but it doesn't detract enough from the story to make much of a difference. I like the movement of the plot, and the character's personality if not development (because there hasn't really been much time for that).

You do good work, keep writing. I'll read it for sure if you ever decide to continue.

-Bleep

That was really good! Really interesting. You're a talented writer, I can tell. And I quite like the title. Good job at the first chapter. I'm anxious for the next. =]

xo Jess