FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| simpleplan13 2007-10-23 ch 1,  | abuseI like this.. its beautifully written.. the format is great and the descriptions are wonderful |
| Charity F 2007-08-19 ch 1, | abuseYou choose words so effortlessly... and yet, so perfect are they to what you want them to do. It's wonderful. |
| Nonya Soum 2007-08-03 ch 1, | abuseBeautiful poem about beauty! Have I mentioned I love your style? You include punctuation that really adds to your poetry. Not to mention, the content is sweet and you really show poetry as an art form. This poem, in particular, sounds really cool. "(the painting of a dream beyond expression)" Nice. Criticism (if you can call it that): I'm not sure how you meant "and the words still try describe describe:" to be written, but it sounds a bit funny. For me, that just left room for interpretation. Also, "with shades of//and black." I think you meant the space after of to be white and the background is white, so that's clever whether you meant to do it or not. Great job! Write on!! |
| Stella Grimshaw. 2007-08-02 ch 1, | abuseThank you for the review. But your work is far better, keep it up. Also what's with the bottom of the document about? A/N: for a contest, inspiration from a picture: http://img249.imageshack.us/img249/6541/blackfan4kc0.jpg That thing?? |
| The Postscript 2007-07-30 ch 1, | abuseWonderful. What I liked best was "and the words still try/describe describe:" becuase the double word choice shows that you are almost stuttering for the words. Too many writers try to be passive and say something to the effect of "what words can't describe" which is quite awful if you are a writer unable to find words. So you let on to that in a very creative way. I would like to see more depth to your writing. You have such emphasis on imagery that I feel like you make the reader work to find the depth inside all that imagery. The best poems are, yes, concious of word choice and imagery. But first and foremost they have a depth that, combined with imagery, makes the reader really look at their subject a different and creative way. Halfway there ... I would love to see you give it that final push. Keey writing, k. |
| smile for the sunshine 2007-07-30 ch 1, | abuseAnd I am sure that you did well in your contest. this was b.e.a.u.t.i.f.u.l. |
| snakesmyle 2007-07-29 ch 1, | abuseThat was absolutely beautiful. You're really good at poetry. I'm going to check out your other work... |
| poemkitten7 2007-07-29 ch 1, | abuseLovely imagery and concept. Simply beautifully written. Keep writing. =) -Sara |
| Ritsu 2007-07-29 ch 1, anon. | abuseVery deep, it reminds me of a winter lanscape for soome reason, though. |