|Reviews for Swingsets and Gravity|
| Jamith 3/23/08 . chapter 7
Sweetness. I like it. I'm excited to see what's next.
| Sarely 3/18/08 . chapter 7
This is like incredibly good hope you finish
| The Egg 8/30/07 . chapter 7
So...when will stuff start happening? There's been 7 chapters, and nothing of Alex and Mad's alleged "relationship". Clues, but still, it would have been nice to get some character insight.
And only about 7,0 words so far. That says something about the amount of effort you're putting into this, Dino. Also, this chapter is full of typos.
Too bad. I had such hope for S & G earlier, but now...
| The Egg 8/30/07 . chapter 6
The style here was sporadic, but the depth was better than the previous chapters. I liked the flashback at the end, too.
But I don't think that you explained Rowan's character well enough yet...I know that he's not the main character, but it would make a more entertaining storyline if you gave your characters some depth.
You've got some communication going on here, but I'm not getting much from the story. At least this chapter was better than the others.
| The Egg 8/30/07 . chapter 5
Looks. Matter. It's as simple as that, and if you just put effort into making the story look better, short chapters are easier to read and more readily excused when there's a pretty heading.
And as for the A/N at the beginning, it would be nice if the story were longer and more thorough RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING. It doesn't matter what you WIll do, but what has been done.
| The Egg 8/30/07 . chapter 4
Yes, a new character! And male, too...how'll that turn out? It seems like you're more accustomed to writing girls.
I liked the soccer references. As they get older, you seem to be more comfortable writing about them. Which is good. But there needs to be LONGER CHAPTERS. This could have been five times better, but it's like you didn't put in enough effort.
Hope 5 will be better.
| The Egg 8/30/07 . chapter 3
Not sure if eight year olds would act like that. Children usually don't develop a tuned self-image/image of others until pre-teen years, but my idea of psychology could be wrong. An eight year old's idea of fashion would probably be her mom's clothes and high heels too big for her, but hey, I'm just going by my sister's behaviour.
I just really hope that it becomes clearer. You can't just jump from year to year and expect the reader to follow; I like stories to read like a movie. And even though you make it sound like the story is going nowhere, the movie has just started (sorry about the metaphor, it's the best I could come up with).
I'll keep reading, but just because maybe something good will happen.
| The Egg 8/30/07 . chapter 2
Hmm, I wouldn't say that it starts off 'slow'. In fact, it's WAY too fast. It would be nice if you lengthened the chapters more. Make the story clearer. At the pace it's going now, Madison and Alexus don't really have 'characters' quite yet, and six year olds usually have more character than adults.
And you could have put more effort into making it look nice. Like with the A/N at the end, you could have made one of those long line thingies...and the chapter title, you could have bolded it or underlined it or something...
Again, not sure where you're going.
| The Egg 8/30/07 . chapter 1
Before I get into the review, I just wanted to say that I love the idea of a story spanning a whole-life relationhship (so Dickenesian) and that I'll probably copy it. Just thought you oughta know.
BUT the idea of a story is an entirely different thing than the story itself, and in this case, it's shaky. The chapters are short (I didn't look ahead, but I did look at the word count) and the way that you did the years doesn't seem like it'll work out. It would be nice if you just went in chronological order, you know, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99...etc., instead of skipping a few years at a time.
Larger paragraphs would have been nice, too. It's weird that there's only one chapter dedicated to each year...surely more happened that summer than just THAT event.
So yeah. Great idea, but I'm not sure if it'll agree with the style of writing you chose for the story.
| PrettyAwkward 8/5/07 . chapter 7
Cool, she got a crotch rocket, those are pretty sweet. update soon.
| ibmc2146 8/5/07 . chapter 7
I really, really like this. Really. It's awesome so far; I can't wait for more.
| Xades 8/5/07 . chapter 7
It is kind of slow going but I think you are doing alright.
| PrettyAwkward 8/4/07 . chapter 6
I like it, its cool how your going through their lifes. Its good. Update soon.
| Xades 8/2/07 . chapter 6
| Xades 7/31/07 . chapter 5
Thanks and k.