FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| simpleplan13 2007-10-28 ch 2,  | abuseI like the second stanza which is new from the first version... but I dont really like the lines "urban development that is/threatening to take over"... thats basically the theme of the whole poem and I liked it better when it wasnt actually stated... |
| simpleplan13 2007-10-28 ch 1, | abuseI like this a lot... the whole combination of nature and whats killing nature.. awesome job |
| the naked civil servant 2007-08-21 ch 1, | abusegraffiti jumping off the wall... hot asphalt stealing the sun... tres merveilleux, ma chere demoiselle! reminds me of allan ginsberg's "sunflower sutra" (high praise indeed...) those lines are apocalyptic. seismic imagery. ... do you jive? X |
| Abdul Alhazred - John Brewe... 2007-08-12 ch 1, | abuseAt the very end I found that I was holding my breath Different from what I am used to and so... refreshing. |
| no.peace.los.angeles 2007-08-05 ch 1, | abuseInteresting piece. The first line really drew me in, made me want to read more. And it really is a modernist piece, and makes me think a lot. Nice work. Keep writing! :) |
| Moondog Dozier 2007-08-02 ch 1, | abuseA very subtle controversy here. I like the concrete specifics, and how they bounce off of the abstact concepts so effortlessly. Good write. MD:77. |
| ode to a firefly 2007-07-31 ch 1, | abuseI love how you did "(in)visible" - very creative. I never would've thought of that one. =) Once again, fantastic description. You seem to have quite a talent for these types of poems. ♥Christine |
| thursdays and rain 2007-07-31 ch 1, | abuselovely imagery, just lovely.. |