Helo... it's DNAmbience! Yay! I think this story seems interesting so far. And no, it doesn't "suck beyond all reason". lol ;)

The noise part kind of sounds like us in school don't you think? Lol.

It didn't suck beyond all reason. It just could be not-quite-infinitely better.
You should keep in mind that every time a different character talks, you need to start a new paragraph.
And try to be more descriptive. That should help a lot.
I like the hot emo guy comment. It made me laugh.
Never post anything you think sucks! Work with it until you like it, and then let other people tell you it sucks. That way you can laugh at them and feel superior.
And never fear revision. I've noticed a lot of people won't change something once they've written it, especially if they've already posted it. That doesn't matter. We can review to help you improve, not let you ignore everything we say because you fear revision.
I rant too much...
I think this has great promise, but needs a lot of work. How's that? :)