I like the idea of this poem. When I looked at the description, I was like, "Yay! A poem about rain!" And I mean that with no sarcasm, seriously. I love nature-ish poems.

I think it kind of rhymes too much though. It follows the formula/code a bit too much. It's good, but it needs something. Something...I don't know, razzle, dazzle, excite, demand attention! Even with the rhyming, it's just a bit plain at some parts.

Even ballad-like poems or songs can demand attention with unusual, emotional, or truly thought-provoking lyrics.

Use the pen and keep on going.

I loved the image of rain you have throughout the song. Keep it up!

It's an excellent song, I sure think you have a great chance of becoming a fantastic and wonderful songwriter. I bet famous singer will line up to get you to write them a song. If you sing as well as you write songs, then there's no compitition for you, you can take the world by storm. Just keep writing these songs and your well on your way to where ever it is that you want to go to. Good Luck!