this is really well written.

So if there wasn't already a chapter after this I would be freaking out over the little cliff hanger there xD

Even if it was expected, I love that she is paired up with Zackery for this project!

And if it is obvious about who it was that she ran into at the end... I feel like a lame-o because I'm not sure who it is xD Luckily I can just read on and see!

I'm still loving this story!
I really like your take on the vampire myth.
The only think that peeved me was that Sharon was a bitchy blonde. It's just that it's ALWAYS a bitchy blonde, never a brunette, a red head, or even a chick with pink hair!
But that was the only thing I have to complain about xD

I am interested to see her full transformation into a vampire and how she is going to deal with Zackery. You are doing a great job at keeping me captivated by this story! :D

I love it!
Yeah, sucky review, But that's all I got for now xD

I Like, I Lust, I Love!!Please Update Soon!!

Serpents Vanity hunh? I like the Irony in that :P hehe
the story is awesome :D :D
i want to keep reading, buh i wil have to wait for more updates *frown* :P
hehe i love Serenity's persona, she's so willfull- is that even a word? hehe anyway like i was saying she has a very powerful will, if i was in her shoes i would have given in to Zack a lot long ago *sigh* thats what happens when you read about characters you want to be like :P I also like Zackary, he's um, how do i put it, well bipolar maybe :P hehe, he just swings from one mood to another in a flash, it has me on edge sometimes. I wonder, why the tension between father and son? and speaking of Father.. Lucifer!?! the Devil?!? when it was mentioned before i had this nagging feeling that it would turn out to be something like it did, hehe but i liked how you told the story about him Falling, it was quite fascinating. Your giving me quite a few ideas :D but fret not im not gonna be stealing anything from you :D hehe

And i also get what you mean about writing in present tense, its harder to write, because your mind is usually used to writing in past tense when writing about something in your point of vuew. i had to go through the same dilemma when i was writing my story. it was very very frustrating and confusing writing in present tense in first person. eheh well anywhoozz I love your story so far! hehe i cant wait to read more :D Update soon! ASAP maybe? *pout* :P

hiya i really really love your story so far please update soon!! its great i can't wait for the next chapter. Zackary is such a dick sometimes. i bet he is hot though!

Good chapter.

The tenses here are MUCH better. woot! XD

loving the plot
x

this story's good but i think the past and present tenses get mixed up here a bit too much. maybe that's a possible convection you could look at whenever you revise this? othereise its very engrossing and you have nice descriptive material XD

Yes!
She has finally come to the dark side.
I wonder if she's going to kick Priscilla's ** anytime some...hmm
I really like Lucifer's character!

Poor Serenity.
Things seem just to go from bad to worst for her.
I wonder if in time she learns to forgive her brother, an accept him for who he is.

Oh, snaps.
Seems like trouble always finds the good guys.

haha, Devon's character is awesome..
With the changes and all, I wonder what Serenity plans to do now that she realizes her body is going through changes.

This is only the first chpater and I'm already hooked!
I never seen a story like this so, I am very excited to read it.
On to the next chapter!