FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Tytherpol 2007-08-29 ch 1,  | abuseI love the easy rhyme and the flow of this. The word choice sticks with you and the way it seems so hectic, almost. Good job! -ty. |
| Iz 2007-08-20 ch 1, anon. | abusewe dress all in yellow to hide in the sunlight absolute favourite line ever. Completely beautiful, I'm emerald with envy darling iz x |
| Christybell 2007-08-19 ch 1, anon. | abuseOh it was really hard picking a favourite line, but one of them was definitely- "Dying for the depression on which we so depend..." I'll write more if you do XP |
| Kunle 2007-08-10 ch 1, anon. | abuseI read your song/poem whatever. Although I have no idea who you are, I presume you are a 16/15 year old teen, who seems to be mesmerised by looks - especially on what you don’t like about yourself; although that does fit in perfectly with your songs theme of aestheticism. Your song does have some interesting imagery. I noticed that you repeated the verse ‘crying pretty, pretty, concertinas of intent’, is that supposed to be a chorus? The concertinas of intent bit didn’t make sense to me actually, are you trying to say that intent collapsed in folds like those of a concertina? Could you explain it to us less gifted mortals? A slightly creepy song, but otherwise… |
| ELLIE 2007-08-04 ch 1, anon. | abusethis site baffles me too much to use my account...:D I love it! The rhyming sounds so pretty. I'd comment on the meaning or symbolism or images but frankly it's way to deep for me. :D x |
| perdix 2007-08-03 ch 1, anon. | abuseSome of it went over my head, but i loved some of the rhymes were really good. I particulaly liked the last line, 'i can still pretend it's winter while pretending i'm still here'. perfect. |