I love the easy rhyme and the flow of this. The word choice sticks with you and the way it seems so hectic, almost.

Good job! -ty.

we dress all in yellow to hide in the sunlight

absolute favourite line ever.

Completely beautiful, I'm emerald with envy darling

iz x

Oh it was really hard picking a favourite line, but one of them was definitely-

"Dying for the depression on which we so depend..."

I'll write more if you do XP

I read your song/poem whatever. Although I have no idea who you are, I presume you are a 16/15 year old teen, who seems to be mesmerised by looks - especially on what you don’t like about yourself; although that does fit in perfectly with your songs theme of aestheticism. Your song does have some interesting imagery. I noticed that you repeated the verse ‘crying pretty, pretty, concertinas of intent’, is that supposed to be a chorus? The concertinas of intent bit didn’t make sense to me actually, are you trying to say that intent collapsed in folds like those of a concertina? Could you explain it to us less gifted mortals? A slightly creepy song, but otherwise…

this site baffles me too much to use my account...:D

I love it! The rhyming sounds so pretty. I'd comment on the meaning or symbolism or images but frankly it's way to deep for me. :D

x

Some of it went over my head, but i loved some of the rhymes were really good. I particulaly liked the last line, 'i can still pretend it's winter while pretending i'm still here'. perfect.