| Reviews for Hold on to Hope |
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sourgummyworms2007 8/19/07 . chapter 1me likey. and i will read more and review again, but at the moment i can only read one chapter right now b/c i just got out of work and i'm bout to pass out from exhastion. i will read more though. i like so i want to read more. i like how these characters are formed and how she debates in her head. this story is cute. |
Fleeting Moment 8/19/07 . chapter 6A,s o good! UPDTAE! |
Alice0Lucy0Raven0Solay 8/19/07 . chapter 6...and the plot thickens... update and i'll ove you forever aqnd always cos this story is so fun! i want a gay friend, tho. i am jealous of hope... grr... ;) |
Cittywolf 8/19/07 . chapter 1Dear Twilight Starr, Firstly- Although your story line is very good you have to build up the situation. Like with Ravid and Hope's first and second kiss. There was absolutely no tension so there was absolutely no intrest. The veiwer has to be reading your story avidly and when they kiss, they have to feel ecstatic. Secondly- It's very difficult to understand where they are. You need to put more detail into the characters surroundings. For example, they were in the school then suddenly at their house. There was no inbetween segment, like a car ride. This would make it more realistic. Thirdly- your charcters emotions and attitudes are strange. Like with Hope, one minute she's a mouse and the next she's kickin people's asses. There has to be a transition or a mid-way place. Fourthly- with that weird jock guy who grabbed Hope, she's suddenly some great fighter. She should have at least a bit of fear. You need to have something happen again with this guy to close it over. You can't just break his nose and expect nothing to happen. Fifthly- Your grammer is really bad and you make some obvious spelling mistakes. Use more commas. Thanks 4 the read, Cityywolf |
Kendyl Burch 8/18/07 . chapter 6aw her dad can be so cold sometimes but its understandable, he nearly lost her to cancer, i think he wants to keep her as close to him as possible, he just doesnt realise how strong his daughter really is |
Kendyl Burch 8/18/07 . chapter 5Good chapter, wow u update fast i love coming on line everyday and having ur stuff to read |
Alice0Lucy0Raven0Solay 8/18/07 . chapter 5ah, no! i found the end! when will you update again? this story is really getting good! well, it was good before, now its just getting more interesting... *smirk* |
Fleeting Moment 8/18/07 . chapter 5Perfect! UPDATE! |
Kendyl Burch 8/18/07 . chapter 4another good chapter, popular girls can be so cruel. |
Kendyl Burch 8/18/07 . chapter 3I totally love Hope, she's a genuine character, not perfect like so many writers' try to make their characters. You write like they are real people. Good work |
Kendyl Burch 8/18/07 . chapter 2Aww her dad may seem cold but beneath that cold exteria beats a heart of pure gold... i love the worlds colliding, and the fact that Hope is starting to come out of ehr shell. I wonder what happened to her aunt? |
Kendyl Burch 8/18/07 . chapter 1Totally loving the two separate lives thing in this story, i love how hope is quiet and reserved around her family and loud and confident around her friends at her other school. I know how it feels to not be able to be urself around your family, u captured it well. |
Molly Rose Franklund 8/17/07 . chapter 4good story. |
Molly Rose Franklund 8/17/07 . chapter 3i like it. keep writing it :D |
ShockinglySweet 8/16/07 . chapter 3I'm going to be honest with you, this is not a good story. You have an awful sense of timing, and the whole 'Deirdre's abusive stepfather' thing had no build up, and neither did Ravid kissing her. However, I like the idea of the story, and I think you've got talent. Your conversations are not too short and not too long, which is a very important factor (one that I for one have not mastered :D) and I like your characters...so...constructive criticism for the win? |