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| Kisei 2007-08-03 ch 1, | abuseUse. One. Punctuation. Mark. Seriously. Are you twelve? I just checked your profile and, no. You're actually older than me. Write like it. Never use multiple question marks. And not every sentence ends in an ellipsis. It's fine every once in a while, but this is too much. "The world I have seen there was no freedom in this world…." That doesn't make sense. and say world once, please? Um. Check for typos and errors. Check a lot. They're everywhere. And your grammar's horrible. I guess all I can say is: read an English textbook. It's all backwards and weird. Are you used to a foreign language with dramatically different sentence structure than English? That's what it sounds like... I think I might have liked this if not for all that... |