Dude! You're Awesome! Write more! Your Great!
-Blade's Queen of Desires

good

"She turn around." - turned
It was rather sweet, but not gripping enough. I think the start should have been very negative to push for the sweet moment.
Perhaps it was too short, and in that sense you needed to use better and stronger words to keep it going.
Anyhow. Cheers.

cute (: