Awesome poem.

Twilight Starr

Just a question: "Not heavy like led," Heavy like lead? The way you have it doesn't really make sense.

Other than that, it's great. Like a whole bunch of one moment. I love those. The ending's the best. Great imagry throughout. I can really see this scene. Quiet and everything fits perfectly together. The tone, word choice, and imagry all combine beautifully.

Felicia.