Great fantasy epic! Brilliant story that was extremely unpredictably and i loved the plot twist that was at the end, i really didn't see that coming. The whole world was extremely realistic, the culture rich and the characters deep- loved it!

Wow, your stories are amazing! I just can't stop reading them; I hope someday that I am as talented a writer as you _

This Story is one of the best unfrofessional fantasy stories I have evr read! Everything has a meaning, much like J K Rowlings books, so there is never a pointless character. The only problem I have with it is that you did not make it longer. Keep writing cause you rock!

That was an absoloutely amazing story. I can't wait to read the sequels!

You've got something that a lot of writers (namely, me) would kill for: the ability to write an ending that doesn't suck. It wasn't too long, or too detailed, or too cheesy.

"I am not running from you. I am simply trying to avoid a potentially violent situation." You're pretty damn funny when you want to be... I haven't read any of your other stories, so I don't know if you've already tried working the humor factor yet in any stories. If not, you should definitely try it out.

I belive it's time for another "I told you so," courtesy of Vesna. The girl is turning out to be a damn good prophet.

The princess is eighteen? For real? Either she is severely challenged, or there's a serious time lapse between the two part of this story. (My vote is for the former, haha.)

During the fight, why didn't Edward just pull out his light staff and make with the magic? It blocked the demons earlier when Riyka first ran into him, so why couldn't he use it here?

Christ. I could have cried at that last scene.

I enjoyed the idea of Demmi sitting in the ranger's office in a private-eye, film-noir style.

I don't have much else to say about this chapter, other than one loud OHMIGAWD. If this weren't already complete, I'd be begging for an update.

Prince Beast and Princess Shrew. Cute.

The hair thing makes a little more sense now, with Demmi being blonde as well. I can see that you're trying to emphasize his struggle between good and evil. Even if it does still bother me.

I like the fact that you threw in some genuinely good demons here. It plays against the stereotype, which is always a plus.

I like that guy, Raul. Possibly just because he's a redhead. But I have a feeling he won't be joining our happy little trio on their quest.

The blonde-haired thing is irking me just a little. The Galatéans come off as being these saintly, innocent people, which is all fine and dandy, but equating blonde hair with being good is a little cliche. It wouldn't bother me so much if earlier on, Riyka hadn't dyed her hair black to look Gorman right before Yuthus stated that all Gorman women are whores. The obvious connection is that blonde/white good, dark/black bad.

I don't think the symbolism was intentional (so don't think I'm implying that you're racist), but I just noticed it, and it's killing my inner civil rights activist.

(Also, I have black hair.)

Grr.

And yes, I do realize that I've spent the entirety of this review talking about hair. So I'll throw in something else.

I've been wondering why this story doesn't have a lot more readers, as you're one of the better romance writers I've encountered on this site. Most people who stray into that department find themselves too engrossed in the lovin' bit to actually have a plot, and you've avoided that superbly so far. So why the hell don't people flock to this story?

The only thing I can think of is that the very beginning of the story scares readers away. I remember looking at the first chapter a few months ago before moving on to a different story, and I can honestly say that I found Ariella completely annoying (I still do, sometimes). Until I got past that part of the story, there was zero interest.

The tone of the story changes completely when it's focused on Riyka. That's where the fun really is. When it's not presented up front, you repel readers by making them assume that Ariella is the main character. Because a lot of people judge a story by it's first few paragraphs, you lose a lot of readers to a short attention span.

But then again, I could be completely wrong. It's just something to think about.

After that first scene, I really wanted to high-five Gittel.

The 'personal bubble' incident won some laughs, too. I'm glad that Vesna ended the whole damsel routine (even if she is a sort of psychoticly hormonal without it)- it was a little gag-inducing. As was Yuthus. Ew ew ew.

Minor goof here- how does Demmi know Riyka's name when he sees her slave papers? I don't remember either her or the old man telling him, though I may have missed it.

I have no idea where this story is going, but I have to say that I'm pretty intrigued so far.

What I'm wondering is why didn't Riyka just run away with the money her aunt had given her to buy the new girl? She knew that when she went back 'home,' she'd be sold, so what did she have to lose by just ditching the place entirely with the money ahead of time? Buying a slave should be expensive enough, and if this girl was supposed to be extravagantly beautiful, then the money in that bag should have been a plenty enough to keep Riyka on her feet for a while. It seems a little far-fetched to say that she was so desperate to own the brothel (or so thoroughly attatched to her only semblance of a home?) that she'd willingly be sold.

Great story! I normally read stories with hundreds of reviews so as to hopefully avoid boring and predictable plots but I'm glad I decided to read this one. I can't stop reading which is terrible because I should be studying for exams but I can't help it :P, amazing story!

My eyes are burning and my neck has a cramp. Do you see what your story has done to me? I've spent the last day plowing through this story only leaving my laptop for movie breaks, food and bathroom breaks.

So to say I enjoyed your story would be putting it mildly. I loved it. I'm totally going to read the rest of them (thank gawd you continued stories from this world) right NOW. I REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU HAVE MORE REWIWS!

Great story. Loved your plot. I dig Vesna. going to take a good long shower, maybe do something then... I WILL CONTINUE MY UNHEALTHY ADDITION TO GOOD STORIES!

-adrienne

This is such an amazing story, why does it have so little reviews?

Epic, if anything less.