It's good, but seems wordy. Too much description on the whole picking out clothes thing. Plus Sada seems a little too comfortable in this realm, where as hes only been there for like 2 days. All in all good, but i'd work on how fast he is adjusting.

Jesse, the story has a good plot, it flows well. Ayame is a great character although she seems to have a lot of "guy moments." You tend to use large words.. and you know me, I edmucation init th best.. haha maybe cut down on those. All in all, very good.. *applause applause*