Reviews for Life of the Alcoholic, Cutter, and Junkie

Reviews For: Life of the Alcoholic, Cutter, and Junkie - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

cls81690 2008-01-28 ch 3,	abuseHello again. I liked hearing from Svet's point of view, but she's not quite as vibrant as Ava or Mel seem to be. She said she doesn't get asked out much, because she's not skinny, but if you mean for her to have low self-esteem I'd make her more doubting and fragile. By the by, an "exorcizing" room would be for getting rid of ghosts and demons. An exercising room, on the other hand, would be for the bitch to stay in top form so she can chase after her husband should he ever wise up and try to run away. ;-) Looking forward to the next chapter, whenever it comes.
cls81690 2008-01-28 ch 2,	abuseOk, the first thing I noticed was that you said, "I'm a sophomore now so I need to..." It'd be stronger if you stated instead of explaining: "As a sophomore, I need to..." Then, I noticed you first said Darien wasn't necessarily a good guy, and then you said he probably is because Ava has good taste in guys. A bit perplexing. It'd help if you showed their conversation and how Ava relaxes as they whisper comments. Or shout them, whatever. Can whispered comments be heard during a Battle of the Bands? That fairies thing was hilarious.
Criti-sized 2007-12-14 ch 3, anon.	abuseHey, it's been a long time since you updated this story. I went to review the fourth chapter because I couldn't for the third one. So here it goes. The chapter was interesting. Your characters definitely still seem to have a great sense to them and sound realistic. There are a few parts that could be looked over and revised. Other than that, this chapter was intereting and I can't wat for you to update it. C.S.
Angie Boo!! 2007-12-11 ch 3, anon.	abuseYou may be a review whore but you are the most awesome review whore ever. Oh yeah and you write well too. Congrats on a lot less tense mistakes! Your stories are getting so good! I can not wait for more.
MellyIsSmelly 2007-09-14 ch 1,	abuseInteresting so far. (:.
criti-sized 2007-09-14 ch 3,	abuseWhoa, this chapter kinda made me think that I was going through deja vu or something until I noticed it was the last chapte just revised. There isn't much that I can say about the chapter,except that it is a little better, there are definitely a lot of differences in it. I would just advise that you take down the second one and leave this one up that way you don't confuse your reviewers, and they don't look dumb like me, lol. C.S.
Simfreak111 2007-09-08 ch 2,	abuseokay, i figured out what makes me no like this story so much; it is written in present tense, and that is very challenging to do, but i commend you for trying, because it is mostly successful. it moved too fast. i would recommend, if you ever rewrote this story that you add more details and actions before you jump into what brought her group apart. otherwise it was pretty good, and enjoyable, but it could have been better as i have said. Simfreak1
Simfreak111 2007-09-08 ch 1,	abusethis seemed too short, and too vague for my liking, but i still enjoyed it. i like the ending line, it adds to the quality of the chapter. on to read more! Simfreak1 (I would have reviewed earlier, but i haven't had time. back to school limits my time.)
criti-sized 2007-09-04 ch 2,	abuseWell, the story generally sounds like a good one and the plot sounds nice. The main three characters are described from the beginning to be a tight unit that can't be broken. But literally we know that all friendships are tested. I get a good sense of the first main character, Ava. She of course is a teen and wants to have fun, which at times blinds them- Us, though I act way older than I am unfortunately. Lol. In the first chapter you tend to change tenses a lot, but I find no reason to really go into it because you explained that your beta hasn't gotten the chance to look at it yet. This sort of reminds me of when I go clubbing with my brothers and friends, of course it's a different story because I have many older brothers and friends, but the scenario is similar somewhat. Good chapter, Update soon. C.S.
sdavis2k 2007-09-01 ch 1,	abuseBetween your prologue and first chapter you give very little information on anything. I know the girls end up messed up, but i do not know how. I know they are jealous of Ava's hair color. I know they were not smart enough to arrange a ride to the dance they wanted to goto instead of the Battle of the Band they were forced to goto. Not to be harsh really but you took 2500 words to tell me that. Yes I know you setting up for more later, but I think you should put more into it now. Just my opinion though.
hmm... 2007-09-01 ch 2, anon.	abuseInteresting...I like this story so far! Can't wait to see what happens next!
latest hero 2007-08-31 ch 1,	abuseI'm glad you got the prolouge betaed, because I noticed that the chapter after this is pretty much riddled with grammer errors. (No offense, btw. When I reveiw that, I'm gonna try to point some out to help you, alright?) Anyways, this story, from the brief glance that the prolouge gives, seems interesting. I want to know how there three girls came to be, as the title says, a cutter, an alchoholic, and a junkie. Like, what happened? There was only one part that kind of left me hanging. In one of your sentences, you said: "Presently, we all hate each other, and we’re all messed up." I think that maybe you should elaborate on that, especially the 'we're all messed up' part. It seems like when you say that they're messed up, you're trying a bit hard to make everyone see what a disaster their lives are at the moment. Maybe say something like, "Presently, we all hate each other." And just end it there, since the whole chapter was focusing on what good friends they were, and now that's all screwed up. Anyways, I hope I helped! Sam
Songs of an Angel 2007-08-31 ch 2,	abuseNice chapter although...I felt something was lacking. It was interesting. Ah...!! I know what got me wondering...your title... Life of the Alcoholic, Cutter and Junkie Sorry...btu for me, that's kind of freaky. :)) All in all, good chapter! Keep up the great work!! :p - Songs of an Angel
Songs of an Angel 2007-08-31 ch 1,	abuseinteresting prologue. Brief but you said everything important although you kind of gave away your plot already. :D I think it would have been better if you didn't tell us that these three girls hated each other. You could've just said 'something happened...' or 'something went wrong...' It kind of took away the element of surprise, dear! :p Aside from that, great job! - Songs of an Angel
not.a.spoiled.brat 2007-08-30 ch 2,	abuseoh.cant wait till the next chapter.i want to read how they get into drugs and if her brother approves of her.this kinda reminds me of THIRTEEN well anyways update soon!

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