Reviews for The Winding Road - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: The Winding Road

Deep Under the Sun 2008-04-25 ch 2,	abuseI havn't read the whole book. Just the first chapter. I thought it was really good, but it was lacking suspense, and i didn't feel like reading the rest. It had a lot of descriptive words, and your really talented but just make the beggining a little more catchy so readers will want to continue on. Keep up the great work though, this story has some great potential! I was really surprised that soemthing like this could be written by an 11 year old.!
Hanejay 2008-04-19 ch 3,	abuseFrom what I read so far (which isn't all of it by any stretch) I'd have to say that it's really good! Which kind of surprised me in that I expected something rather bleh. But it is quite the opposite so far! I can't wait to see how it ends. It has all of the essential pieces for an excellent character (at least in my opinion) there's room for change, major character "flaws", and an overall sense of likability in the main character. I thought that the prophecy part was relatively hard to understand, though that could be from my lack of sleep. I'll stop ranting. Great Job!
Otseis Ragnarok 2007-12-06 ch 3,	abuseHey, it's been a while... I decided to read this, against my better judgement, which expected this to be bad. I was wrong. This chapter was very well done, as well as nearly perfect in length. I say nearly because there were still some parts which seemed unnecessary (although not as many as in previous chapters). Regardless of that, the chapter really picked up at the end. I loved how realistic Dini's thoughts and emotio0ns seemed from moment to moment. As well as Roth's betrayal. BTW, was he brainwashed or something? The Blight Children can do that? And while on the subject of the blight Children... If they're 'children', why and how are they also giants? Or is 'Children' just the name for them? I would assume the latter, but you weren't very clear in that respect. Either way, I like the use of the term, it adds to a theme of children and overall corruption. In short, I like this, but didn't think I would. Each chapter seems to be bettr than the last, so I expect the next one to be especially good. (BTW, in case you were wondering, I haven't reviewed for a while due to personal issues... I'd explain them, but I'd rather not do it in a review...)
Otseis Ragnarok 2007-09-24 ch 2,	abuseYou were right... that chapter was short. But it was also better. I like the inner turmoil that Dini is beginning to face. It's a nice change of pace, compared to what I expected. Overall, the story is still a good idea, but I'm still not sold. If the next few chapters continue your pattern, This will no doubt be a good story.
RisanF 2007-09-23 ch 3,	abuseCool story and characters. Your Dini is an interesting kid, tormented by both social stigma and his own self doubts. The virtues of fear and courage are ambiguous here, so right now we can't tell what lesson Dini must learn, but that's good; keeps things interesting. It seems the Draconheart is Austracium's only salvation, but I'd actually prefer for Dini to be the hero; he's a protagonist I can really get behind. Great job.
Otseis Ragnarok 2007-09-21 ch 1,	abuseOnar-> Review Game. Well, that wasn't very good. Your first line,"Dini was painting stars", was nice. It drew me in. But it was all downhill from there. My first complaint would be your info-dumping. Especially on seemingly needless details like character descriptions. It felt as though you were trying too hard to paint an intricate mental picture, one tiny detail at a time. This wouldn't be a bad thing, except for the fact that all of these details seem to be unnecessary. Another complaint: This chapter seemed too long and bordered on droning. I have to say that it could and should have been much shorter. Lastly, I actually want to end on a high note, so to speak. I like the concept of this story. I just think it could've been done SO much better.
Imalefty 2007-09-18 ch 1,	abuseit certainly looks like you're setting up for an adventure... :) i like your characters - they're likeable, but they also have weaknesses. (ie... afraid of the dark.) i also like the world you've created... it is intriguing. as for the writing, i think you're doing a good job, especially considering you're writing for 11 year olds. :) i would suggest, however, for internet reading purposes, that you shorten your paragraphs... they are a bit long to read on a computer screen, so if you could try to shorten them, it would do wonders for the readers' eyes! anyway, good job so far! -Lefty

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